Duck and rooster screech together!

Oh my gosh, the duck has joined C.S. in his morning screeching! I woke up before one could officially say ‘daylight’ to that stupid rooster and the duck who is now according to my tired ears, louder than that dang chicken!
Ever since we lost the other quacker, Miss Quack has been trying to find her place with the other feathered creatures on the farm. She was hanging with the turkey for awhile but just couldn’t seem to convince her that swimming in a mud puddle was fun and should be done 207.5 times a day. Miss Quack would push Miss Gobble towards the very muddy puddle, jump in quacking at the turkey to show her how much fun it was to get wet and full of thick gooey dirt. The turkey wasn’t buying it, she waddled as fast has she could go in the opposite direction! So Miss Quack started in on the chickens. They like sitting in cold muddy water as much as the turkey does…not at all!
Lately she has been following C.S. around, even though he won’t bathe with her. I think its because daddy rooster took his harem of hens away. C.S. use to have 4 girls following him around, swooning over every screech, I mean COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOO!
So now, he is forced to hang with a duck and at times a turkey…the 3 stooges, the misfits, the gang of ‘huh?’
Anyhoo…the rooster and duck were underneath my bedroom window screeching and quacking. Back and forth, from one annoying sound to another. I swear I’m going to get my great grandmothers farm recipe book out and look up duck soup and chicken casserole!

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Yummy bird suet

I’m sure most of you saw the pic earlier of the yummy home made bird suet that someone made for us and dropped off today. Well, Chad came home and saw it wrapped up on the counter and automatically thought it was some kind of gooey doughnut (uh huh, you know where I’m going with this!)…so he unwrapped part of it and put it up to his mouth for a bite (mean Nancy is watching with glee!!). He was about to take a bite (as I said to myself over and over…please take a bite, please take a bite) when he noticed one of the meal worms was looking at him! He held it back, turned it over and over, staring at it over his glasses with a deep frown. He then looks at me and ask, “what the heck is this??” I dissapointly explained that it’s for the birds. He glares at me then says, “you were going to let me eat it weren’t you!” Well, yeah. I wanted a story!

Tiny car!

So, I’ve been seeing a little teeny tiny, itsy bitsy white car around town that is smaller than our mini woolly mammoth horse Laci…with TWO people inside. I’m not sure how these full grown adults can even get inside this tiny box of a car! I would love to see them struggle to get in and out. I can just hear a normal conversation from these folks going out in it…

Mr: “Honey, want to go to the store with me?”
Mrs: “Sure, just let me grab my purse!”
Mr: “Now, you know there’s no room for your bag, just leave it”
Mrs: “Yeah your right, let me grab my sunglasses”
Mr: “Fine, just dont take them off, no room on the dash to lay them down”

So, Mr and Mrs walk to the garage to get into to the car they nicknamed ‘cracker box’ only to see that it’s gone!

Mr: “Wheres the car??!”
Mrs: “I parked it right here! I know I did!”
Mr: ” Oh wait, I see it, I put the trash can in front of it!”

Mr and Mrs stand in front of the smaller than a tandem bike that you can hold hands over car, and form a plan on how to get inside without banging a knee, or hitting their now bruised head.
Mrs looks up at Mr and says, “On second thought, I think I’ll stay here. You go and enjoy the ride!”

Mr grumbles something about all the gas they’re saving, opens the car door to look at the space made perfect for a toy poodle, puts a leg in and gets stuck!

Yep, that’s how I see it if owning one of those tiny cars that would tip over if a bicycle ran into the side of it, or a large bug smashed onto the windshield, or a 5 mile an hour gust of wind came towards it, or a frisbee hit it!

I mean, wheres the engine? Is the gas tank bigger than a cup of coffee? Where would you put your groceries? Insurance companies actually insure those death traps?
Inquiring minds want to know!

Lone ranger!

Well, now that I have the ‘Lone Ranger’ theme song stuck in my head and I’ve been yelling out, “Hi Ho Silver, Awaaaaaay” all morning…I’m going out to the barn and I’m gonna teach those llamas how to humm it out! So, every time someone comes over and those llamas followed by a goat (who thinks he’s a llama) gallop to the fence because they know that extra treats will soon be crunching in their greedy little mouths, everyone will hear the Hi Ho Silver galloping music! Plus I’m going to put a loud speaker out there so when everyone is running towards us, it’ll yell out. “HI HO SILVER!!!”
Of course, that’ll make Dunkay perk up and do his best Silver the horse impression by getting on his hind legs, loudly HEEE HAAAW, and slice his front legs through the air as his military style mane sways in the wind!! I just hope he doesn’t trip and fall on Laci who will do her best impression of Tonto’s horse by kicking him on the shins…all 4 of them!

And if for some reason I can’t teach them to hum it out, I will train them to come running by blasting the ‘Lone Ranger’ theme song on speakers that will be all around the barn and pastures! Every neighbor within 5 miles will know every time those animals are galloping around on the farm!! 😁😁😁

Fainting goat? Updated

I was just thinking…what would it be like here on the farm if we had a fainting goat. You know, those critters that fall over with their legs stiff, sticking straight out because some horrible noise scared them…like a kitten’s meow, a bullfrog looking for a mate, a leaf hitting the ground, a squeaky door, or the wind chimes clinking in the wind!

I can just picture it in my over active mind’s eye, and believe it would go something like this…

Chad and I drive for hours to the nearest fainting goat farm, where one picks out the cutest, fastest fainting goat that’s already laying on the ground from a bee buzzing by. We step over brown ones, spotted ones, big…small…full grown…kids!

I “encourage” (ok, force) Chad to pick up a cute little brown and black goat that looks dead from fright but isn’t because it’s still blinking. I’m in love! I must have this adorable laying-on- the-ground, scared stiff, furry critter! Chad carrys our new fur baby to the Jeep because it’s too scared to walk. We drive home talking in whispers because we want young Mr. Goat to come out of his shell and learn that not all noise is bad. By the time we get home, Mr. Goat is practically sitting in daddy’s lap, bonding as they start the new game of ‘pushing the goat away’ which I’m sure Super Farmer will be playing with him everyday!

We get Mr. Goat out of the Jeep and walk him towards the barn to meet his new loving, accepting (yeah right) fur baby family. He walked all the way to the gate without falling over, so far so good. Dunkay is the first to come over, not because he wants to meet his new brother, but because he thinks we have food. Dunkay and Mr. Goat touch noses, eye each other up and down suspiciously, walk in circles like circus ponies giving rides sniffing one another. Then, Dunkay sneezes which makes Mr. Goat faint. I stand there next to the donkey who is smirking as the goat lays on it’s side with Chad pushing him trying to get him back up. After 5 long minutes, Mr. Goat jumps up like nothing ever happened, shakes his body like a dog after a bath (instead of water flying everywhere, it’s dust, feathers, and hay) and trots to the barn where he comes face to face with the “barking” turkey. Yep, that’s right…down he goes…flat on the ground. I looked at Dunkay who I swear was giggling, and warn him to never, ever scare that goat! Mr. Goat recovered faster than the last time, did his dog bath shake making another dust cloud, and walked inside the barn. I hear Lincoln the alpaca scream out his warning cry because he doesn’t know this new animal, followed closely by a loud thud.

Yep, that’s how I see a fainting goat coming to live here. The poor thing would live 99.9% of its life sideways on the ground! 🤣🤣

Oh please God, let me get one!!! Hmmm, maybe we should give him a Screaming Goat as a companion. One bleats out a blood curdling scream and the other flopping in an unending cycle. 😉

Fainting goat?

I was just thinking…what would it be like here on the farm if we had a fainting goat. You know, those critters that fall over with their legs stiff, sticking straight out because some horrible noise scared them…like a kittens meow, a bullfrog looking for a mate, a leaf hitting the ground, a squeaky door, or the wind chimes clinking in the wind!

I can just picture it in my over active minds eye, and believe it would go something like this…

Chad and I drive for hours to the nearest fainting goat farm, where one picks out the cutest, fastest fainting goat that’s already laying on the ground from a bee buzzing by. We step over brown ones, spotted ones, big…small…full grown…kids!
I make Chad pick up a cute little brown and black goat that looks dead from fright but isn’t because it’s still blinking. I’m in love! I must have this adorable laying on the ground, scared stiff, furry critter! Chad carrys our new fur baby to the Jeep because it’s too scared to walk. We drive home talking in whispers because we want Mr Goat to come out of his shell and learn that not all noise is bad. By the time we get home, Mr Goat is practically sitting in daddy’s lap, bonding as they start the new game of ‘pushing the goat away’ which I’m sure Super Farmer will be playing with him everyday!
We get Mr Goat out of the Jeep and walk him towards the barn to meet his new loving, accepting (yeah right) fur baby family. He walked all the way to the gate without falling over, so far so good. Dunkay is the first to come over, not because he wants meet his new brother, but because he thinks we have food. Dunkay and Mr Goat touch noses, eye each other up and down suspiciously, walk in circles like circus pony’s giving rides sniffing one another. Then Dunkay sneezes which makes Mr Goat faint. I stand there next to the donkey who is smirking as the goat lays on its side with Chad pushing him trying to get him back up. After 5 long minutes, Mr Goat jumps up like nothing ever happened, shakes his body like a dog after a bath (instead of water flying everywhere, it’s dust, feathers, and hay) and trots to the barn where he comes face to face with the barking turkey. Yep, that’s right…down he goes…flat on the ground. I looked at Dunkay who I swear was giggling, and warn him to never, ever scare that goat! Mr Goat recovered faster than the last time, did his dog bath shake making another dust cloud, and walked inside the barn. I hear Lincoln the alpaca scream out his warning cry because he doesn’t know this new animal, followed closely by a loud thud.

Yep, that’s how is see a fainting goat coming to live here. The poor thing would live 99.9% of its life on the ground! 🤣🤣

Oh please God, let me get one!!!

Fun with mother!

Fun with mother

Yep, took mother shopping today. All went pretty good at Meijer’s…until we left. I made the mistake by following her out the door. She went to the only door in the whole dang store that doesn’t open! Yep, that’s right. She stood with her basket in front of the door that refused to open with me right behind her. And like lemmings, there were two more people behind me with carts chock full of groceries. Uh huh…4 people with carts lined up at a door that doesn’t open with mother in the lead! After about 30 seconds, she took her cane out of her wire basket, pointed it at the door and demanded that it open! It didn’t. I strained my neck to look past her as the people behind me groaned, tapping their feet, to see what the heck was wrong now. There was a big red and white sign that clearly stated that it didn’t work, ‘USE OTHER DOOR’! I said, “ummm mom, that door isn’t working!” She sharply turned around, narrowed her eyes and said through gritted teeth, “what do you mean it doesn’t work?? We came though the stupid thing!”
I pointed to the sign and informed her that it clearly states to ‘use other door!’ She looked at the sign, looked back at me and annoying asked me why didn’t I tell her that before we got stuck!
I rolled my eyes and told the folks behind us that we needed to use door number 3 because door number 1 is out of commission! It’s a good thing carts dont have back up sounds because the whole store would’ve heard 4 carts loudly beeping as we all tried to back up, turn around, go past each other and beat each other to door number one while mumbling about doors that don’t open!