This was funny. Chad and I were outside weeding the front where we have a variety of different wild flowers we planted this spring, when I noticed the turkey kept ‘barking’. So I stood there looking at her trying to figure out why she’s barking (sounds just like a dog). She stopped, stood there really still and waited…for what? That’s when I noticed that a dog in the subdivision by us was also barking. The dog would bark and stop, then the turkey would bark. Dog barked, stopped…turkey barked, stopped. Back and forth they went. Barking at each other. I’m like, really? The turkey is barking at the dog and it answers her! Only at our farm does a turkey bark with a neighbors pooch!
Foggy mornings are always interesting. I never know what I’m going to see or hear in the white mist that mysteriously blankets the farm. I like to sit on the back porch with my coffee and growling chihuahua and watch the llamas appear out of the fog and then disappear again in the cloud cover.
This morning as I’m watching the fog swirl around a llama or three, I could see something small and black darting in and out of the fog in the far back pasture. I got up, carefully put my snarling pup on the swing so I wouldn’t lose a finger, and walked to the edge of the porch ( I couldn’t go out into the driveway in case someone drove by and shook their head in confusion because they thought they saw a pink statue standing there), I squinted my eyes to see what kind of ferocious animal was getting ready to attack my llamas! Just then, the thing saw me and started to run in my direction! The earth was shaking, the fog parted, the llamas galloped away, the goat ran to his house, the donkey yawned, the horse kept on eating, the chickens flapped their wings and squawked, the ducks ran towards it to attack (they’re not afraid of anything!) and the turkey hid behind me! Should I run back into the house? Should I run towards it and protect my herd? Should I sic my growling, snapping, 7lb when soaking wet, dog at it?
I decided to go back to the porch with my frightened turkey and finish my coffee because the ‘thing’ turned out to be Remi. She saw me from waaaaaaaaay back and came galloping for food!
This is cute. I have a faithful follower who wants to start a fan club for Addie Acres. I told her it would probably only have two members…me and her. Then I thought, no it will have at least 14! My animals! But before they sign up, I can just see Linda Williams advertising with posters on every phone pole to rally up the troops, stand on the street corner with Super Farmer and his bullhorn demanding people to join the fan club, handing out fliers, giving away candy, selling raffle tickets (you win a free 8 x 10 pic with Sammie or Remi), pleading with folks to just look at the site…you know, ways to make us popular among folks who dont really care for farmers.
They would be out in the hot heat shaking hands, making promises, like the fan club would be fun…exciting…complete with perks like free farm fresh eggs!
Then I thought, they would probably only get 3.5 people to sign up, only because they felt sorry for them yelling on the street corner in 100° weather pleading with people. I can see Linda and Chad dragging themselves through the gate with one wrinkled sign up sheet that has less than 4 people on it. That’s when my faithful, devoted, loves me to the ends of the earth and back animals, would line up to sign the fan club form that offers perks (the chickens wouldn’t be thrilled with it). Chad and Linda would get a second wind, pull up a table and chairs, spread out the ‘I promise to be a fan forever and ever’ form and let those barn yard animals sign away! Of course they cant really use a pencil so Chippie will leave a paw print, Biscuit wont be able to get near his because chippie will be growling at him, Dunkay would sneeze on his, Laci will drool on hers, the llamas will spit on their papers, Dillion the old goat will blankly stare at it (so Super Farmer will sign it for him) Remi will eat hers, the birds will leave a feather or 10, and the barn kitties with scratch their forms into tiny shreds! I predict that by the end of the day, we will have close to 30 fans! Of course 25 will be animals and 5 will be real people! Heck, I’m in! Let’s do this!!
Among my many ‘talents’, I’m adding a new one. Traffic cop. Yep, you read right…traffic cop. Or should I say, farm cop. I opened the back pasture today to let the natives enjoy the tall, lush grass and clover. I yelled at them to ‘come on back, the smorgasbord is now open!’
Every head popped up, turned my way and looked. Sammie came galloping towards the open gate and the other ding bats just stood there drooling. I walked to the middle of the pasture…in public you know…and yelled at them again, pointing to the field of plenty as Sammie jumped around like a school boy after the bell rang for the last time until next Fall! They just stood there. Now I’m getting frustrated and super hot standing in sweltering heat trying to get somebody to move. Finally, I marched myself over to the group who seemed glued to the ground (must have been all that water) and in my best farm cop voice, ordered them to move it along and get in that pasture to eat..pointing! They still stood there blinking in confusion. Really? I said, “GO”! They lined up and started to walk, slowly, towards the open gate with me guiding them with whistles and arm movements like a traffic cop! I was moving them along one by one as Sammie was still jumping for joy through the knee high clover ! I didn’t realize how strange I must have looked until a car slowed down to a crawl in front of the farm. I could see smiling faces looking out the windows to watch the show. I nodded my head at the laughing folks and lowered my arms. All llamas and one stubborn alpaca are now jumping in unison in delight through the swaying grass. 🙄 Eyes rolling.🙄
There are days when I realize just how ‘quirky’ I really am.
I went out to water my llamas today (literally) so they can try to stay cool and comfortable in this jungle heat. I hosed down Lincoln, then Violet, followed by Sweetie. I tried to water down Sammie but he didn’t want to get wet…after all, he’s the ‘sexy’ llama and can’t get his fur wet. Anyhoo…as I’m soaking 3 large animals in the pasture, I caught myself yapping away at them. I yip yapped the whole 20 minutes! How can I talk non stop in 93° weather, in public to 3 soaked llamas who are prancing through a stream of coolness? Heck, I cant even tell you all I said…I was talking llama!
I need a body cam! This is so funny! I walked to the gate to let the natives out into the yard to mow our grass (who needs a lawnmower when theres a llama or 3 to munch it down!).
As most of you know, Remi Doodles has a thing for Sweetie. The pig follows the llama around like a love struck teenager. Remi lays next to Sweetie, eats with her, and gazes up at her with adoration. Sweetie on the hand, hides from Remi, runs away from her, gets up and move when the pig lays down next to her, and gazes down with annoyance as she spits at the pig. Anyhoo…Sweetie was at the far corner of the pasture with Remi standing next to her. I opened the gate to let the llamas out and Sweetie came galloping with the fat little pig running behind her making a loud barking sound! I swear they only do this stuff when I dont have my camera! The llama and the pig running full speed from the back of the pasture to the gate. I actually laughed out loud. Sweetie got there first…of course…and I jokingly said to her, ” aren’t you going to wait for your little buddy?” I swear she knew what I was saying because she looked me straight in the eye, narrowed hers, and put her ears back like she was going to let me have it! I put my hand up and said, ” whoa little doggie, I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Sweetie ran through the gate, galloped towards the back of the house with the pig a step or two behind her! I think I heard the other 3 llamas snickering as the odd couple ran past them!
Oh sure, let’s have ALL the large animals play dead in the front pasture, next to the road for all to see! I’m expecting to have the sheriff, animal control, neighbors, folks driving by, and PETA, to be marching around our house with angry signs about deceased animals on our property! Or…I’ll just run out there, demand that they get up NOW and give them my long, boring, send them into a trance lecture about scarring little children who see them laying there! As in the past, Lincoln will get up and walk to the back pasture and plop down to continue his nap…Sammie will get up, stretch, yawn, and mosey over to the feed bin…Violet will just lay there, look at me with one eye opened and ignore me…and Sweetie will gallop over to me thinking I have grain!