As most of you know, we have a nice room that is on Airbnb (bed & breakfast). We have an older couple staying with us all weekend from N. Carolina. They aren’t exactly animal people and have no interest meeting the large fur balls in the pasture who have been staring at them like stalkers every time they go outside to eat on the porch. The llamas along with Dunkay, line up at the fence and watch these folks…every move they make, they see it…watching…waiting…hoping they will come over and give them a treat. Heck, it even creeps me out! Any who…I got up this morning and went downstairs to check on my guest. They were standing by the front door, in their jammies, holding plates of food and coffee. They looked a bit ‘startled’. I asked what was wrong. They told me they fixed some eggs and toast went outside to eat, hoping to enjoy the beautiful morning, when Dunkay barreled through the gate and galloped straight towards their plates of food! They sat there frozen to the chairs not sure if they should give up their breakfast to the beast or grab everything and run! They chose the latter! They got up, held the plates high and quickly walked to the front porch. Dunkay knocked over a chair and broke a plate as these two elderly folks tried to get away! After he was done ‘wrecking havoc’ as she put it…he trotted to the front porch where they were trying to eat and demanded all the food…NOW! They ran back into the house, stood at the door, staring at it in disbelief. That’s where I came in. I assured them that he really is harmless, and coaxed them back to the kitchen. I tried to make a joke out of it, but they didn’t think it was funny. They just looked at me with a blank stare! I went outside looking for Mr Pain In the Butt. He was already back in the barn harassing the chickens. I swept up the shattered plate, picked up the chair and scolded Dunkay as he stood inside the barn with his head peeking around the corner cause he knows better! I don’t think these folks will be back.
Most of the time I enjoy sharing my home with furry, four legged critters. At 3 am, I do not! Once in awhile I have to get up and use the powder room. Biscuit sleeps next to the bed snuggled under the blankets that I tuck him into (yes, I cover him up every night then kiss his nose) in his comfy bed. Chippie sleeps on the bed, under the covers of course, and the cats keep a nightly virgil at the door…on the other side, they are not allowed to sleep with us. Around 3am, I had to get up. No matter how quiet I try to be, the dogs hear me and are up dancing around before I get both eyes opened. I slowly walk to the door because one…I’m not fully awake, and two…I have a whirlwind of fur going around and around my legs as I move. Its like I’m a human tornado and they’re the debri that swirls around! As soon as I open the door, my debri cloud picks up two more furry bodies who lay in front of the bedroom door every night. Now I have four animals swirling around me along with new sounds of panting, growling, meowing, bangs, screeches, barks, and the words “NO! STOP IT! MOVE! GET AWAY FROM ME!” The human tornado with the swirling fur finally makes it to the privacy room only to find its locked! Whaaat? Chad is in there! While I was fighting to get out of the bedroom with my animal cloud, he actually got up, somehow got past us without me knowing, and got in there first! I stood there with 2 cats on my right, two dogs on my left (one was growling at the kitties) banging on the door in frustration that I’m the one those animals pick to swirl around, not him. Chad opened the door and all four of those critters ran inside…straight to the potty, surrounding it, waiting for mommy. I closed the door on them and went downstairs to have some peace! Sheesh!!
Oh the joy! Guess who’s up one again! Uh huh…that’s right! REMI DOODLES! I’m going to write Chad’s fun experience as close to what he told it to me. I hope I don’t leave anything out. I was laughing as he put his torpedo story together for me.
Super Farmer’s words…
I had a 50lb bag of stratch grain over my shoulder and pulling a cooler spilling over with water behind me. When I got to the barn door, I couldn’t get in because that darn pig was standing in the entrance snorting and grunting at me! I dropped the grain and my mouth at the same time! I swear that pig smiled at me. She turned around, trotted under Dunkay and stood by her gate, proudly showing me her new escape hole. I momentarily forgot where I was because I put the grain down right in front of the horse, donkey and goat who pounced upon it trying to tear it open! So I grabbed the bag and played tug of war with the three starving animals as the pig ran in circles around us. I got the bag and tried to dump it in the bin when I heard a commotion behind me. The pig and the goat were pushing each other with their heads. Back and forth over Remi’s food bowl. I broke up the barn fight and proceeded to pour out the rest of the grain when I heard that pig squealing behind me! She tried to follow me over the short fence, got her legs stuck in the little metal squares, and teeter-tottered on the fence with her snout buried under the hay bale on the opposite side. She couldn’t back up or go forward. I had to pick her up which made her LOUD and angry. Her squealing, well like a stuck pig, made Lincoln our alpaca scream out his warning cry and the llama’s cower in the corner of their pen.
There’s more to the story, but I couldn’t hear it because I was laughing too hard!!!
Well, Remi is a mad little pig! Mad, mad, mad! Chad has her gate loaded down with two wood pallets, a bunny cage, 50 lb hay bales, and items that I’m not sure what they’re used for anymore! He has it wired, stuffed, roped, bungee cord, has junk on it, next to it…under, on top…everywhere! Took him an hour to ‘fix’ her gate! Remi watched daddy in amusement, looking for any mistake he might make…big or small. She studied, he worked. He got all done, noticed that he was stuck inside the pen with the pig and had to crawl over the fence, which at his age is no easy feat! He stood on the other side and watched his little girl go up to the gate, looked it up and down, winked at Super Farmer as in, ‘I got this bud’… then went to work! She pushed, shoved chewed, grunted, kicked and worked that gate until she could move no more! Chad stood there proudly watching that poor little pig knowing he won a battle. He went to give her an ‘I’m sorry’ pat on the head and she madly grunted, refusing to let him touch her. The war is not over…I’m still betting on the pig!
Ever wonder what those wacky llama farmers text back and forth to each other on a daily basis? Wonder no more…
N to C: your pig is out again
C to N: she’s not my pig, she’s yours
N to C: she’s ours and she’s out
C to N: so?
N to C: so put her back in, I already chased her twice today
C to N: I’m not even home! YOU put her back!!
N to C: I’m cooking YOU dinner and I’m not going back out…its cold
C to N: gosh darn it, I’m assuming the llamas are hungry too?
N to C: I fed everyone already, its just your pig that needs to go to bed!
C to N: she’s not my pig, she’s yours!
N to C: SHES OURS 😡
Yep…that’s how we lovingly text back and forth. By the way, Super Farmer went straight to the barn in his suit and tie with dress shoes and chased HIS pig back into her pen. I’m sure she’s out already. 😊
Chad and I had our daily ‘your pig, our pig’ conversation last night and of course, I won. So he went out to the barn to put her back to bed. I am pleased to say that he is now in a power struggle with a potbelly pig! She is determined to get out of her area and hang with the ‘big boys’, and chad is determined to be the ‘barn boss’ and keep her in her pen so the ‘big boys’ can sleep in peace, and not be more upset that they are sharing their home with swine! He put her inside her cozy home, lining the gate with 50lb bales, feeling pleased that THIS time she won’t get out as she rams her head into the hay trying to move it. My money is on the pig. She is smarter than the average bear and knows every inch of that pen and its weak spots. I’ve seen her push that gate up and go under to get out and to go back in. Yesterday Super Farmer was bragging about how he got her this time, that there was no possible way that a stubby potbelly was going to get out. Well guess who was at the gate for me waiting, wagging her tail today! Yep, you guessed it. Remi Doodles! It was almost comical seeing everything he piled in front of her gate laying in a heap. The bales were pushed to the side, the rabbit cage knocked down along with the pitch fork that was suppose to hold the gate close to the ground. The rope and bungee cord was off the pole hanging. So, me being the supportive, loving wife that I am, took a pic of HIS pig standing next to his destroyed barrier as she proudly stood there grinning and sent it to him with the caption, ‘pig, 1…super farmer, 0!
He responded in 4 seconds with 10 angry faces. I can’t wait to see what he comes up with tonight and how she destroys it by daybreak!
The pic is fuzzy because she won’t hold still.
I had to go outside and saw Remi Doodles at the side of the barn rooting away. Its raining and not one other animal is outside. Only the pig. I walked to the gate in the rain and yelled, “hey…what are you doing”!? She perked up, waddled her plump little body towards me, her tail wagging, and grunted at me. She had dirt, seeds, hay and other yucky things all around her little pig nose. Really? She mosedy on out into the rain and found dropped food next to the barn which I’m sure has been buried there since the 1940s, and dug it up so she could ‘pig away’! I pointed to the barn door and told her to go back inside, NOW! She snorted, happily wagged her tail, and trotted back to the barn. At least she mind’s well! Its going to be interesting this summer with Dunkay and Remi…the odd couple.
Guess where Super Farmer is at this moment. Uh huh…in the barn. And what is he doing? He’s building a new barrier around Remi Doodles gate. Before he went out, he sat at the table with paper and sharpie drawing, scribbling out a blue print for Remi’s pen. He got up, went to the door, turned around and said to me, “I will keep that darn pig in”! I nodded my head with a serious face, gave him a thumbs up and said, “of course you will honey”! As soon as he walked out the door with his plan in hand, I snickered. I know that pig will be out before daylight!