Guest being chased by a donkey!

As most of you know, we have a nice room that is on Airbnb (bed & breakfast). We have an older couple staying with us all weekend from N. Carolina. They aren’t exactly animal people and have no interest meeting the large fur balls in the pasture who have been staring at them like stalkers every time they go outside to eat on the porch. The llamas along with Dunkay, line up at the fence and watch these folks…every move they make, they see it…watching…waiting…hoping they will come over and give them a treat. Heck, it even creeps me out! Any who…I got up this morning and went downstairs to check on my guest.  They were standing by the front door, in their jammies, holding plates of food and coffee. They looked a bit ‘startled’. I asked what was wrong.  They told me they fixed some eggs and toast went outside to eat, hoping to enjoy the beautiful morning, when Dunkay barreled through the gate and galloped straight towards their plates of food! They sat there frozen to the chairs not sure if they should give up their breakfast to the beast or grab everything and run! They chose the latter! They got up, held the plates high and quickly walked to the front porch. Dunkay knocked over a chair and broke a plate as these two elderly folks tried to get away!  After he was done ‘wrecking havoc’ as she put it…he trotted to the front porch where they were trying to eat and demanded all the food…NOW! They ran back into the house, stood at the door, staring at it in disbelief.  That’s where I came in. I assured them that he really is harmless,  and coaxed them back to the kitchen.  I tried to make a joke out of it, but they didn’t think it was funny. They just looked at me with a blank stare!  I went outside looking for Mr Pain In the Butt. He was already back in the barn harassing the chickens.  I swept up the shattered plate, picked up the chair and scolded Dunkay as he stood inside the barn with his head peeking around the corner cause he knows better!   I don’t think these folks will be back.

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Llama? Deer?

So, last night when we were right by the farm coming home after taking pics at lake Michigan, Chad slammed on the breaks, and swerved the Jeep going into our yard by the empty field next to ours. I’m bracing for impact , franictly looking around to spot what he thinks he sees that makes him almost wreck my poor Jeep! But instead of pulling over, he just says, “never mind”. Huh? Never mind what??? We pull in the driveway and I’m looking at him like he’s nutty! He said, “I thought I saw a deer by our fence, but it was only Sammie.” Really? Sammie is all white and doesn’t resemble a deer! I looked toward the back pasture and yep, Sammie was next to the fence eating. I’m sorry, but he doesn’t look like a deer to me. I looked back at Chad with the same ‘are you nutty’ expression, and he’s like…”what! I thought you would like to get a pic of a deer next to the farm”!! Right!! Im sure that if a deer was standing there, Chad slamming on the brakes and driving the Jeep into the yard next to him would’ve made the critter stand there in curiosity wondering what these humans are up to now! Instead, it was just one of the WHITE llamas eating. I’m sure they all saw us drive into the yard, then out again, which made them shake their heads thinking to themselves, ‘yep, they’re at it again’.

The chase!

This is so funny. I was throwing bread to four chickens, one turkey, and two ducks when one of the hens grabbed a piece of bread 2 seconds before the duck got his bill around the tasty morsel. Well, that didn’t sit right with mr duck, as a matter of fact, it made him downright angry! So he tried to attack the hen who took off running with him chasing her, wings flapping. They ran past the rooster who thought to himself, ‘ no way am I going to let some low life duck attack one of my girls!’ So he took off after the duck chasing the hen. The 3 of them ran around the corner of the barn where I couldn’t see them anymore.  I had a good chuckle and thought the show was done so I went back to feeding the turkey and Remi who ran over because she can smell food being thrown a mile away! After about a minute, the 3 birds came running towards me from around the barn, still flapping their wings. The chase was still on! The hen ran into the barn, the duck ran towards me with the rooster close behind. I threw some bread to the birds who stopped in their tracks and ate the crumbs before Remi could waddled over to steal it all. They are now back to being barnyard buddies.

I swear they only do stuff when I dont have a camera ready!

Mothers day on the farm!

Ah mothers day. The only day of the year that is mine, mine, mine! Not Super Farmers, not the llamas, not the trouble maker (Dunkay), not the mini tank, not the old goat, not the turkeys who bark at the neighbors, and definitely not the pig that who now waddles because she wont stop eating!
I will not share it with any of them. I’ve been working on my ‘you all must do for me on MY special day’ list for 8 weeks now! It is now up 35.5 pages…I’m so proud of myself! The first thing on my list is breakfast made before I get up from bed with all my favorite foods! I woke up this morning to the aroma of maple syrup on pancakes…so far Super Farmer is on my other list…the one everyone wants to be on today…the mama is still happy list! He is now doing dishes, took the trash out, took care of the dogs, and is waiting on me. If he keeps this up, he will be as happy as I am all day! The animals know from past Mother Days, that they too want to be on my ‘happy mama’ list. Super Farmer already gave them his famous ‘ you better be good and make your mama feel special all day’ speech. He ran out there after breakfast, lined them up, then did his drill sargent walk and talk. I could see him pointing (mostly at Dunkay) and his mouth moving. And of course, the horse fell asleep, the old goat walked away, the alpaca nodded his head in agreement, the llamas Sweetie and Violet keep glancing at each other, Sammie slowly backed away and snuck back into the barn and Remi the waddling pig, followed him as he marched back and forth, waving his arms drilling the animals, snorting and grunting trying to get him to feed her! I can check off my early morning amusement and concentrate on the honey-do list that starts before he gets back inside the house! Oh it’s going to be a wonderful, relaxing, happy, lots of things done for ME, ME, ME kind of day!
Oh Chadwick…my coffee needs to be refilled and chippie has to go out! Can you please put those twigs down and come inside the house to fill up my coffee cup again?? Yes, honey, your still on my ‘ if I’m happy, your happy’ list!

The bees and the robe?

So, the other morning, I was sitting in my nice comfy lazyboy, relaxing with my kitty when he started to act all playful by swatting at my red puppy dog robe. I kinda giggled at his playfulness and kept watching the news. Then I started to hear a loud buzzing noise. I sorta looked around as the kitty was picking up his  not so playful swatting at my robe while standing in attack mode! The buzzing became louder and angrier. The kitty was now in a frenzy!  Biscuit perked up and ran over to see why  the cat was excitedly jumping around attacking me!! Thats when I realized the buzzing sound was coming from INSIDE my robe! I jumped up, the cat fell onto Biscuit, he barked at the cat, I did my own little yelp with a ‘get-it-away-from-me dance’ as I frantically struggled to get my robe off as the buzzing became louder! I finally torn off the robe, threw it on the floor and stepped back! Im not kidding, a larger than a humming bird bumble bee, flew out going towards the glass door! The cat sprang into attack mode again, sprinted between my legs and crashed into the door! At this point, I’m like…’really’? I opened the door, the bee flew out with the cat a buzz behind him. Last I saw, the bumble and its feline nightmare were headed towards one of the llamas munching in the front yard. Maybe that’s why I saw a couple of llamas gallop past the window a few minutes later…the cat was still chasing the bee in their direction!

Talking to myself in public

So, I was in wal mart yesterday looking at the flowers because I need prettiness, some color, a girly look on the farm besides hay,  fur balls and feathers floating through the air, gray duct tape holding up our fence, or animal poop…you know, the classic farm look. Anyhoo…I was standing there looking at all the colorful flowers trying to remember which ones the llamas ate or left alone. As usual,  I was talking to myself out loud (like I do with the Kroger self check out machines), saying things like…

” now, did those llamas eat these last year? I wonder if the goat would eat this plant, of course Dunkay will eat them all, so I have to keep him away from everything, wait a minute, if I put poop on the plants, the animals wont come near them, but then my whole yard will smell like poop,  why cant I just get the flowers I want without an animal chomping them down to sticks!!”

As I was having this discussion with myself out loud, I saw an elderly couple standing there. She elbowed her hubby and nodded towards me. I shyly smiled at them.  He grinned and she grabbed his arm pulling him away from lady who talks about putting poop on her flowers to nobody but herself!

Chasing chickens through the rain

Sheesh. Its storming outside and I could hear my kitty meowing to be let in. So I opened the front door and called her. What did I get? Three hens and C.S. (our rooster) who came running out from underneath the furniture. There they stood, the four of them looking up at me with a ‘well…you gonna let us in or what?’ expression! I go out the door, in public, in my puppy dog robe and pink minion slipper socks to chase them off my porch, back towards the barn where they belong! I got half way through the front yard when it dawned on me that once again, I was in my fluffy red robe, in the front yard where everyone can see me chasing a small flock of chickens through the rain! I turned around and ran back to my porch as the chickens followed me. Thank goodness I made it safely to the house without anyone seeing me! The chickens snuck back under the furniture, and the cat ran to the back porch where she is now meowing to be let in!

Sale day!

Yep, its sale day alright! All the animals are lined up at the fence waiting for Kyle to come babysit them for the day! I can see them whispering to each other, making a plan on how to make his visit an unpleasant one! They know that they can tease him, intimidate him into giving them extra treats and just plain ol harras him because it’s fun. I always have to do a little fast talking with my son to get him to agree to sit at the farm all day. I promise him things that are impossible to fill, like the animals WILL behave (hahahahaha), there will be NO trouble, the day will go fast…you know little white lies that I pray will come true for him. After Kyle gets here, I will do my famous, ever so boring lecture to the barn animals before I go (that puts them in a zone) , say a desperate prayer, and head out before Kyle realizes that the animals already has his day planned out for him!
Good luck child of mine, it’s been awhile since the llamas and Dunkay has had a good old ‘tease the humans’ day… they are long overdue for some barnyard mischief!!