the check out machine!

I had an argument today with the self checkout machine in Krogers…again.

I actually had some cash on me and decided to pay for my 3 items with it. Apparently, the machine I picked hasn’t had real money fed to it in a loooooong time, because as soon as I fed my 5 dollar bill to it, the stupid machine spit it right back out at me!

Well, you know me, I refused to let a hunk of nutts and bolts tell ME what it’s going to do! I caught my money in mid air, squinted my eyes at the machine that was humming the Twilight Zone tune, and told it through gritted teeth that it was going to take my money or else!

So, I again put my five into the little slot with the blinking red light next to it and gosh darn it if that dang machine didn’t spit it out at me again! This time it was so forceful that it flew past my face and into the basket!

Now, I’m really mad!

The nice Krogers lady that watches me like a hawk when I’m there because I’m usually threatening their machines by telling them that I will come back someday with a hammer or blow torch so watch it… asked me if I needed help.
My pride spoke up before my brain and politely told her, no thanks, the machine and I are getting along today.

She suspiciously looked me and took two steps back to give me space while keeping an eye on me! I looked at the red blinking light as the Twilight Zone music got louder, showed Mr Machine my clenched fist, loudly told him that it WILL take my money! It WILL accept it! And it WILL give back the correct change!

I pushed that bill in and, by George, the hunk of junk took it! It told me (in a mocking voice) to TAKE my change, DON’T forget my receipt, and remove ALL bags!

Even though I didn’t mean it, I said ‘thank you’.
I swear deep down inside it stuck it’s tongue out, and in Mr Sterlings voice it went ‘na na na na na nah’!



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