All posts by Addie Funny Farm

About Addie Funny Farm

Addie Acres is located in the middle of corn fields with woods outlining the edges. There is a big metal barn that is home to 4 Llamas', 1 Alpaca, 2 mini horses that are so fat it's hard to call them 'mini', 1 donkey that thinks he's a dog, 2 ding bat goat's that never, ever shut up, too many hens, 4 roosters that have their days and nights mixed up, 5 barn kitties that watch the mice instead of chasing them and 4 spotted bunnies that have escaped their pens and are now helping the rabbit population go from basic brown to black and white mixed with butterscotch. My animals rule, control and play tricks on the humans that live a few feet away! Addie Acres has become the 'Funny Farm'! I've been jotting down our experience with the animals for awhile now and have decided to put all my stories in one place. Who knows, maybe someone else can find humor as they shake their head in agreement. Only us FARMERS really knows what goes on inside the "Barn"! Enjoy my journey as I try to control the animals that rule me!

chasing the turkey who’s chasing the dog!

Yep, the cicus was in full swing today! If you were lucky enough to drive by, you would’ve see a huge black powerful Pitbull galloping full speed from around the back of our house towards the pasture next to the busy road, then around the front of the house followed closely by a large Tom turkey angrily gobbling a mere 4 tail lengths behind the dog as a crazy farmer lady running with a blue broom only 2 feathers behind the bird, was yelling and swinging the broom! And where did the three of them end up you ask? Inside the house (of course) because Biscuit ran to the back porch to find the door open so he could safely get away from the turkey who hates him! Yep, thats right…BOB followed him inside my house with me right behind them! The turkey had Biscuit cornered, so I took that broom with a choice word or two (sorry Lord) and scooted that dang protesting bird out of my house…again!

sights on the farm!

Some of the fun things I saw within 45 seconds here on the farm this morning! Gobble Gobble our female turkey chashing C.S. our rooster because for some reason, she hates him…not dislike…hates. A duck racing the pig from the barn for the scratch grain that I just threw on the ground next to the fence for the chickens (the duck won). Two llamas trying to get out the gate at the same time which was opened far enough for one large animal to get through, of course getting stuck together makes them angry, so a spit fight was on! And the best thing I saw while the animals were performing for the circus tryouts? Chad accidentally let Biscuit out with him on the back porch…BOB was out there who ran as fast as his turkey legs would go to attack the dog, which made Chad (in dress clothes and tie) jump between them to keep the fight of all farm fights from happening! THAT was the best entertainment I’ve had all week because it was Chaddie, Biscuit, and BOB doing a fast paced, three step dance that started on the porch…went into the yard, legs and feathers flapping and stomping around the tree (that forced a couple of hens to jump up squawking trying to get out of the way), and back onto the porch. It finally ended with Chad shoving the frightened dog into the house yelling “Oh come on, STOP IT!”, he barely got the door slammed shut when the turkey hit the door with his head because he couldn’t stop in time!
Man I love this farm! So much fun! Lots of exciting things to see and enjoy!!

fun with mother

Fun with mother

I took mother to her first heart cardio exercise program. I personally don’t think she needs it. After all, she handles her cane with no problem with how much she waves it at me when she doesn’t get her way, or how she is still able to turn her shopping cart around the corners on two wheels, or shuffle faster than the other senior that happens to be in a scooter who is going for the same cashier. But mother wanted to try it out since exercise is good for her aging muscles, and it gets her out of the house.

So after two hours of paper work and questions that seemed to never end (I’m not kidding), she had time for only one easy exercise. Mother had to walk for exactly 6 minutes around two chairs wearing a heart monitor. The nice nurse took out her stop watch, hit the button and yelled, “GO” to mother who was half asleep standing there waiting. Well that perked her up! She took off so fast that I’m sure she would’ve passed up FOUR baby turtles! Yes, four!

Mother focused on the task at hand and scooted her walker around those chairs like a real pro! She got past the second chair, stopped, grinned and said, “that was a great work out!” The nurse informed her that it had only been 30 seconds and that she has 5.5 more minutes. Mother angrily looked at her saying, “you’ve got to be kidding! I’ve been walking for at least ten, no 20 minutes!”.

The nice nurse finally convinced her that no, she only walked 30 seconds. I could see in mother’s eyes that she wanted to raise the walker at the nurse so I made eye contact, shook my my head no, reminding her that the nurse is on her side and only wants the very best for her heart. So mother gritted her teeth and took off so fast that every snail in LP County would’ve been proud! She went around and around those chairs like a true Olympian! I think mother will do just fine, I just hope the nurses can keep with her!

Now, on to lap 2…

Up Too Early…again!

Why Nancy its 6am, your up so early! I thought you didn’t do mornings or early afternoons or evenings these days?!!

Yep, those roosters started their pre-dawn ‘let’s-wake-up-the humans-just-because-we-can’ cackles under my bedroom window before the sun was able to stretch out its arm and gently rise up into the sky to give a warm welcoming good morning!

Not one, not two, not three ‘I-have-a-death-wish, pain-in-the-tail-feathers birds’…but FOUR roosters gathered in a semi circle like the Rat Pack (only us old folks know who the Rat Pack is) and put on a show as they crrrroooowwwweeddd in disharmony!
Gosh, I hate those birds!

Anyone want a FREE rooster…or two…or three? He comes with one hen so you too can wake bright and early before every living creature within 10 miles and have farm fresh eggs everyday! If you’re lucky, your new hen will hatch a few chicks! Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? Better get here fast, before they’re all gone!

An Addie Acres one of a kind, genuine, original, must have, signed Rooster and hen!! Get em while they last….please.

If this keeps up I may have to throw in a cat, mini-pig, Super Farmer…anything to make the chorus stop! πŸ“ 🐷 πŸ§”

Walkie Talkies!!

Chad and I were shopping the other day and saw some walkie talkies on the shelf. I picked them up thinking our grandson Isaac could have fun with G-Pa on the farm with them, when I thought to myself, ‘gosh, I could have fun with these too! I could hide one in the barn and everytime Dunkay walked in, I could yell, “NO DUNKAY! BAD BOY! STAY AWAY FROM THE GRAIN! I’M WATCHING YOU! DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOUR DADDY OUT THERE!” I could watch him gallop out of the barn freaking out!

Oh the fun I could have with walkie talkies here on the farm! I can yell out “BOB” from inside the house to make him gobble . I could tell Lincoln there’s a strange dog walking down the street so hurry and do your warning cry.

Oooo, how about snap at Chad while he is doing chores that he needs to throw down more hay bales or chase a rooster out of the hen house, or lecture Remi about how she shouldn’t eat so much without her snorting at me in anger?!

Oh the fun to be had! By George, perhaps, I will go back and buy me a pair or two or six walkie talkies to hide all over Addie Acres!!

The wasp!

Chad and I were sitting in a looooong line at Culver’s waiting for our turn to play ‘Let’s make a deal’ with the squeaky voice in the little box who is always happy to see us with a welcoming ‘our pleasure’ greeting!

As we sit there waiting, a crow-sized wasp flys in through the open window to see if there are any sweets left out in the open that it can grab with its King Crab claws and take back to the nest. Well, Mr. Wasp flys around our heads and in between our flailing arms that resembled a tennis match! I swat the mostly-stinger bug, Chad swats it back towards me! Back and forth we push the wasp towards the other.

After a about 45 seconds of being a tennis ball, Mr. Wasp has had enough of these wacky humans who are acting like frightened children as they cried out for the nice lady inside the box to come out and he beelined out. I’m sure Mr. Big Stinger is at the nest telling all the tiny larva a story about a couple of wacky humans who freaked over teeny tiny him who fought them off with a flap of wings!

Chippies new stroller!

Chad and I have been talking about taking more walks, you know, to spend more quality time together, getting some much needed exercise during these trying times. We thought we would start with the walking trails at Kessling Park. Its a smooth scenic path and should be easy for us old folks.

I had this bright idea of taking Mr. Growly, aka Chippie with us to get him away from the turkey who wants to eat him. But since Mr. I’m-never-happy is barely 7 lbs when soaking wet with feet smaller than my thumb, I thought it would be better to buy a doggie stroller. Uh huh, thats right…a dog stroller! A cute purple one of course! My over active imagination has now taken over to show me what a typical walk would look like!

Chad and I pull into the Kessling parking lot with Mr Nope-not-happy on my lap growling at all the squirrels scurrying for dropped pinecones, birds singing in the trees, and an occasional leaf blowing past our vehicle. Chad walks to the back of the Jeep to get out Chippie’s brand new, never used, cute purple doggie stroller with the 500 zippered parts.
After mumbled disagreement, some banging around, and glaring at me through the window for making him take a tiny chihuahua who hates everything on a ‘relaxing’ walk, he gets the cute little doggie contraption together.

He motions me to hurry up, get out and put Mr Snap-at-anything-that-moves into the stroller with the 500 zippers. As usual, I walk my fun loving pup at arms length to put him in the stroller. Chippie takes one look at the thing that wants to trap him inside, and starts his famous low growl that even makes our lamas run and hide! He is also starting to squirm letting us know that he will never, ever, never sit inside that thing! I don’t know what to do, so I quickly give him to Chad before he realizes that our grumpy fur baby is now growling in HIS arms as I step back so he can’t give him back to me!

Now Chippie is really mad! Chad stands next to the purple 500 zippered stroller holding an extremely mad chihuahua that looks like he’s swimming snapping at fish right to left, as far away from his face as he possibly can! I open the stroller, and advise Chad to just throw him in…I will zip it up before he can turn around to jump out to bite our ankles! He tosses in this dog that maybe should never live with humans, I zip it up, and we high five each for a job well done without bites, scratches, or chasing 7lbs of snapping fur down the road!

We then do our paper, rock, and scissors game to see who is going to push the purple stroller that looks like a jiffy popcorn pan, especially as the dog throws himself from side to side trying to escape. As usual, I win so Chad grudgingly pushes a goofy little stroller past other couples pushing real strollers with toddlers, apologizing for the horrible sounds, coming from the one he’s pushing, that inevitably scare their kids.

Yep, that’s what I want to do! I’m ordering one today, should be here by Friday, Chad and I will go for our first family walk on Saturday! I think I’ll add more excitement to our walk and take Biscuit too, who of course will be tied to the stroller that Chad will be pushing! I hope he hangs on tight, because the first rabbit Biscuit sees will make him take off like a bullet dragging a purple stroller with a super angry Chippie and a defeated Super Farmer Chad!