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Escaped Chickens! Again!

One of our dingbat hens decided to hatch eggs outside our fence by the road. Right now she has one chick and, even though the baby can easily get through the fence and her follow it by jumping over, they have decided to be the talk of the neighborhood by not coming over to our side of the fence. And, to top it off, one of the roosters has joined them by jumping over the fence to show everyone that drives by that the feathered family of 3 doesn’t need a barn!
Of course having a chicken family pecking at bugs and grass next to the road has folks sending me messages or calling me to let me know that we have escapees…again.

I’ve been watching these dingbats for 2 days now and cannot catch a chicken that runs under huge bushes next to the road. I’ve threatened them with becoming tomorrow evening’s dinner, put a pile of scratch grain on my side of the fence and promised them the best nesting spot in the barn…far away from the pig! But no, they would rather live outside the fence and wave at the neighbors!

Well tonight the rooster was standing at the gate looking at me like ‘Well? You gonna let me in or what?’ So, I opened the gate to let Mr Annoyance in.

Did he appreciate it and strut in? Noooooooooooo! He did a right angle turn and ran along side the fence towards the road again!

Did I shut the gate and say the heck with it?
Noooooooooo! I left the gate open and ran after him to chase him through!

Did he go through the gate like a good little chicken? Noooooooooo! He ran towards the wide open spaces with me chasing him!

And, to make matters worse? Biscuit saw me running around outside with a rooster and decided to join us! Yep, Nancy, a rooster and a pitbull were running around the yard by the road as cars slowed down to watch the circus and film the crazy farm lady chase a flapping rooster with a huge pit-lab mix jumping and barking.

The Addie Acres’ circus has been entertaining the neighbors and unsuspecting passers-by along150N for almost 10 full years. It may be time to charge admission! 🐔 🐓 🐣 🐕 🤯

cold!

cold…wind….sideways rain! yep, my favorite kind of weather! Barn duty is pleasant when I have to take care of cranky, wet and bored animals. Today, the horses refused to let Sammy (llama) and Lincoln (alpaca) inside. By the time I got out there, both were soaked, taking on the appearance of huge drowned rats! They stood at the opening shivering as Sparky stood guard. They practically hugged me when I yelled at Sparky & Laci to get to their side of the barn and behave themselves or NO FOOD! As soon as I opened the inside gate where we store the Gold (Hay), they all jumped, kicked, whinnied, Baaaaa’d, Hee-hawed, pushed, shoved, nipped and begged to be fed first and the most! On top of that, the stupid rooster decided to peck at me when I wasn’t looking. I showed him Mr Axe and he strutted away. Super Farmer is on barn duty tonight whether he wants to be or not! I hung up my farmer overalls and put away the pitch fork for the day!

Bragging about a Potbelly Pig!

I went to an event last night and sat with a few nice ladies that talked about thier beloved pets and the fun things they do that make them smile. Well, I decided to mix it up a bit and talk about Remi, our potbelly pig.

I was sitting there smiling with my eyes closed talking about how the pig waddles from one food source to the other, how she chases away llamas, donkeys, horses, turkeys and, mostly, humans if she thinks they are getting too close to her grain stash!

I fondly recalled how every summer she wallows in the mud puddle that I make just for her on those 90+ degree days! How her and Super Farmer have this non stop battle of the wits to keep her inside any fenced area that he puts up (so far he has lost every battle!). I bragged about how she does tricks and that you can’t pet the pig!

I went on and on about pigs, mud, stubbornness and fights between barn animals!
When I opened my eyes, I saw 5 ladies with eyes wide, mouths hanging open, and ‘oh my gosh’ look frozen on their faces!
I quickly realized that I went too far in the ‘should have been cute little fluffy’ talk.

I laughed a little to ease the horror and they moved their chairs away from me! Needless to say, I didn’t have a lot of folks to talk to the rest of the evening!

addieacres

Springtime!

Finally a beautiful Spring day in March! I get so excited on the first 70° day!

I jumped out of bed this morning at the crack of dawn full of energy, life, vigor, plans, and expectations! (incredibly, without knocking Chad off the bed this time or stepping on something that growls!)

I ran outside to cock-a-doodle-doooooooo with 5, 6, 7 (I’ve lost count) roosters cackling at the sun as it rose above the trees! They seemed very happy to have mom standing outside (hiding from neighbors again) in her red puppy dog robe and cute muck boots with the pink horses on them.

Me and those dingbat chickens welcoming this beautiful new day together!

Anyhoo…what really gets me going is aaaaalll the plans I have today! Barn…yard…porch furniture…bird feeders…looking for swans to take pics….you know, Springtime stuff!

So after singing to the morning sun surrounded by roosters that I complained about all winter…I ran inside to get my hubby up! Yep, I excitedly told him about all the plans I had…for HIM today so he better get up! As usual, he glared at me with one eye open and mumbled about how he really doesn’t like me before noon on a Saturday.

Me? I don’t care, I’ve heard it all before…I played tug of war with him using the blankets…I won. I jumped on the bed like a 5 year old to shake him awake as I gave him Chippie. That dog took one look at him and decided that he was NOT going to have a daddy day and let him know it by showing off his pearly whites.

The grand finale climaxed as I threatened him with what every wife uses to get her way (now, now…out of the gutter, y’all). I told him that it’s chicken liver night for dinner for a month! By George, the man jumped out of bed so fast and ran out the door that all I saw was a flash of human lightning streaking past me!

I caught up with my loving, faithful hubby and gave him my 32.5 page Honey Do list of chores I’ve been working on all winter, kissed his cheek, gave him a love pat on his behind. I watched him stomp to the barn with 200 chickens following him as 2 llamas and an alpaca galloped towards the gate to greet him. Territorial turkey BOB was fully displayed not far behind, getting ready to ‘play’ protect his territory!

Yep, it’s going to be a wonderful, fun, productive Spring day here on the farm!
If you drive by and see Super Farmer out there running from the turkey who is mad that there’s a human in his pasture…make sure you honk and wave!

the Cat and Mother’s Teeth!

Fun with Mother (and the cat)

I went over to Mother’s to help her with a few minor things that usually takes hours, sometimes days!

I found her in the bedroom searching.
I automatically rolled up my sleeves because I knew I was going to be on the hunt for her chompers (teeth)…again.

I made Mother sit in the chair to watch with her kitty who loves it when I come over. For him, it means fresh water, yummy kitty morsals filled up in his dish, a clean litterbox and new legs to weave in and out of! Yep, the cat loves me…a lot!

Anyhoo…I looked behind the bed, under the pillow, by the sink, in the shower, in her clothes…etc.

Nothing.

So, I took each blanket and shook them one by one. The cat thought that that was the best thing ever! He jumped at the blanket flapping in the air as Mother scolded him for interfering in the search for the most important thing in this world…those choppers!

I shook 3 blankets, 2 sheets and matching pillowcases only to find kleenex; cat hair, and a bandaid! I was getting a bit frustrated when I decided do the very heavy, nicely folded bedspread.

I shook what felt like lead material ready for Arnold Schwarzenegger to pump. And yup, those bottom teeth came flying out, flew past my Mother’s head and landed next to the cat!

Not good! That cat jumped up like an excited kitten, and started to bat those teeth like a skilled soccer player. By the time I got to Mother’s teeth, the cat had them halfway across the living room!

I stood in front of those teeth on the floor with the cat sitting there, one paw on the dentures that were now full of orange hair, his bushy tail swishing back and forth looking up at me through squinted eyes just daring me to reach down. After all, this certainly was the most fun he’s had in weeks living with this old woman since she refuses to let him bat at her as she walks with a walker with cat toys attached like a jungle gym!

So yes, Nancy had a stand off with a cat to get Mother’s teeth back in her mouth! It was going to be WW3 smack dab in the middle of an old woman’s house. We both lunged for the fake teeth at the same time and gosh darn if that dang cat isn’t faster than me!

By the time I figured out I was holding nothing but air and cat fur, I could hear Mother’s chompers being batted across the wood floor in the kitchen! I ran to the kitchen to find those chompers next to the stove with no cat. He finally must have got bored and left them there!

I rinsed off her teeth with Listerine and handed Mother the other half of her mouth. Was she grateful? No…she asked what took me so long as the cat loudly purred on her lap looking up at me with one eye opened and a Cheshire smirk on his face! 😻

Sheesh…just another day at mothers house!

addieacres #funwithmother

Fun With Mother in Al’s

Fun with Mother…

Yup, 5 hours of M.M. (Mother Marathon) yesterday!

Mother hadn’t been out of the house for a month and needed to get away from the old man, her new 9 year old kitty, that follows her around like he’s love sick with catnip!

So I picked up Mother which is a job in itself!
It took her 10 minutes to get out of the chair…5 minutes to walk across the room…20 minutes to begin saying goodbye to the cat. Then, she took a deep breath and, no kidding, continued lecturing him about what he can and can not do while she’s gone as he ignored her (he must know Dunkay!).

Ok, ready to go we…continued to “get ready further”. Now it took at least an hour just to check lights, doors, cupboards (so the cat doesn’t get in them), and decide which coat to wear.

Ready now? Nope, must…sort…coupons…
hundreds of coupons! Must have those coupons! I watched the movie Titanic completely (well, I could have) waiting for her to get through her routine. At least entertaining the cat who decided I was his new giant play toy provided a distraction.

Mother finally announced that she was ready and demanded to know what was taking me so long! I rolled my eyes, kept my mouth shut, pushed the cat away from my legs as I tried to walk, and spent another 15 minutes getting mother into the Jeep.

Of course, Mother didn’t want to shop in LaPorte today….it had to be Michigan City…she looooooves Al’s over there…after all, it’s the only place in LaPorte County that makes ‘bread pudding’! So, we went to the Michigan City Al’s where it took me 30 minutes to get her out of the Jeep, walked her gingerly through the snow, and onto a scooter. And, she’s off! The Al’s scooter is 90% faster than the ones at Walmart!

That old woman took off like a bat of the ‘dark place’ and shouted YIPPEE as I ran after her with my cart! She acted like a teenage boy learning how to drive a race car. She went around corners on two wheels, left skid marks and made those granny wheels smoke and worst off, she made folks jump out of her way as she shouted “so sorry hahahahahaha!” or “watch where you’re going people”. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! I kept telling people she wasn’t with me because half the store was glaring at me for bringing her in!

Alas, they were out of her bread pudding, but did have the balloons she was looking for for Kyle’s birthday. I kept my distance as I followed mother in her scooter, complete with huge balloons tied to it. Hopefully, she got some of those winter time cobwebs out of her brain by racing around the store grabbing ice cream bars and some toys for the old man…the cat!

It was a looooooong shopping day with Mother….loooong. When I dropped Mother off, she settled into her La-Z-Boy with a purring cat on her lap, and I could hear her voice trailing off about “next week we…need…to make…a LaPorte shopping run!”

Pray for me. 🙏🙃❤

addieacres #funwithmother

strange things on the farm!

I read a post today about another farm and how they think someone or ‘something’ is talking to their animals late at night. Whatever it is, their cow and a few goats are ‘talking’ back to it. She thought it might be aliens!

So, of course, it got my over active imagination going! What if ‘something’ was talking to our dingbats in the early morning hours, before the Twilight Zone light crawled over the tops of the trees?

This is what I think would happen!

The llamas wake up to the rooster doing his annoying COCK A DOODLE DOOOOOOOOO as he senses that morning is about to explode. The racket wakes up Chad’s pig which is the signal for the herd to run to the far pasture to beat that pig from getting the tiny green blades sticking up through the snow!

Of course, Dunkay follows them in case they uncover a mound of clover that has somehow survived not only the icy snow, but every set of teeth that lives on the farm! So now there are 3 llamas, 1 alpaca, a tank-like mini-horse, and donkey shoving and scrounging for food even though the barrels inside the barn are overflowing with luscious green hay mixed with alfalfa!

Each animal has their lips stuck to the ice on the ground, lost in thought about how they can knock the others away from their teeny tiny patch of almost grass that’s now encased in ice.

Suddenly, a strange humming noise makes every furry head come up at the same time, mouths full of twigs, brown grass and lots of snow! They cock their heads in unison to listen. The weird humming stops. They hear a scratchy like voice which makes their ears pop up, again, at the exact same time. Three llamas, an alpaca, mini-tank, and a donkey stand like statues, eyes squinted towards the the rising sun trying to pick up any sound that may indicate food!

They listen…they wait!

In the glare of the sun, comes a dark, shadowy figure strolling towards them, his head looks like a bush of many twisted arms that wave at them! The other-worldly figure leans towards them, his long bony arms reaching out to grab the nearest dingbat which is Lincoln who screams at it (he screams at everything!).

The other llamas take off for the barn in fear, an icy white cloud which turns into a snow devil follows them sweeping up a hen or two!
And Dunkay? Well he pushes Lincoln out of the way to get a better look and does his famous little donkey dance as he Hee-Haws out “BEAM ME UP SCOTTY!!”

Dunkay then closes his eyes, smiles and dreams about all the hay they must have up there on Mars and soon it’ll all be his…his…his!!!
The dingbat donkey waits, and waits…no beaming up. He opens his eyes to find it was just a big old tree leaning towards them, it’s many hands waving from the wind, the voice was the branches rubbing together! And the humming noise? Well it turned out to be Chad’s pig Remi. since she was nearby humming in joy at the pile of grain she found that her daddy must have dropped earlier trying to get a llama to follow him!!

Maybe the aliens are already among us and look just a bit like farm critters and dingbats…which means they already live with us! No wonder strange and unusual things happen around here every hour of every day!

addieacres

ice and chickens!

This was so funny!

I was feeding way too many chickens by the gate that Remi stares through demanding food. I threw a nice pile of scratch grain for them to fight over. Then, I noticed a small mound nearby covered in ice and shook my head as these bird brains squawked, flapped, and shoved each other nearby.

Out of nowhere, I noticed a rooster running full speed towards the flock of misfits! I thought to myself, ‘Oh this should be good, there’s no way he’s gonna be able to stop once he hits that ice!’ I was right!

That feathered dingbat hit that patch of ice and slid with wings flapping and feet in front going up and down trying to stop! He skidded all the way down the slick patch and hit those other chickens like a bowling ball. He got a full strike and knocked all 10 birds down! A perfect game!!

Yes, yes, I know I need a body cam! 🐓 ❄️ 🐖 🤠

llamas and snow devils!

I was watching the snow devils race across the fields behind the barn, admiring the snow swirling in a tornado like fashion.

I squinted to see what was in the path of the snow devil when it hit me that the dingbats were outside the barn doors scavenging for anything green hiding under the blanket of white. I thought to myself, oh this should be good, a mini tornado and llamas!

So I grabbed my coat, ran outside to watch the snow show! The first icy swirl dissipated before it reached the tiny herd of 4…so no excitement. Violet glanced at it with indifference.

The second fierce tornado of ice crystals formed into a larger cloud that had an impressive form to it. It whirled toward the dingbats that were now watching the cloud race towards them faster than a speeding pot-bellied pig! Sweetie instantly ran back to the barn, Violet sat down and bowed her furry brown head towards the screaming tornado, and Sammy looked around trying to find the shortest path to safety.

Oh, and what about Lincoln? Well, he stood his ground, braced himself for the white monster about to swallow him up and screamed at it! Yep, the alpaca screamed with a loud rattle at that white tornado until it came right up to his open mouth! Then it just magically disappeared…I think the dingbat swallowed it!

no Santa this year!

I’m almost positive that Santa will be skipping the farm this year! The naughties have been just that….naughty!!! I went into the barn today to find that the natives broke through the main gate…again….eating all my treats that I put in there last night, on the table, up high. I had 4 boxes of stale crackers, cookies and some bread. They not only ate every last crumb, but most of the boxes were gone…eaten. What was left were tiny pieces of shredded cardboard and wax paper. They also knocked over the kitties water and ate the fresh hay that was to be their breakfast, lunch and dinner for the day. Not anymore, they ate almost the whole bale before breakfast!
I tried to explain to them that Santa knows everything! He knows if they’ve been bad or good, so be GOOD for goodness sake! They nodded their heads in agreement as if to say , “sorry”, then within 3.8 seconds, the donkey was pushing the goats out of the way, Laci the mini tank shoved the alpaca into the wall and Sammie spit at everyone! Coal….that’s what I’m writing to Santa about this week….coal!!!