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buyer beware!

I’ve been selling stuff on the garage sale sites because I need a new jeep tire. With current inflation, I am trying to get it done before it costs north of $500. So today, someone came to the front door to pick up a treasure.

I opened the door and a nice lady was standing there with a nervous smile on her face. Why? Because C.S. (named Chicken Soup), our rooster who is trying to convince me that he’s human and should live in the house and eat at the table with us, was standing right next to her looking up at me.

Yep, a person I don’t know and C.S. standing side by side at the door. I gave her the item she can’t live without, she stepped around the rooster who was now looking at her bag (because I feed him popcorn out of the same kind of plastic Walmart bag). C.S. tried to peck at it as she walked faster down the walk due to the much too friendly chicken following and squaking at her to stop. She made it safely out the gate and the dingbat bird ran back to the door to try to get in before I closed it! He almost made it to!

Such adventure at Addie Acres funny farm!

I’ve had Dish workers be surrounded by turkeys, ducks, chickens, 2 goats and one llama to watch installation of a satellite dish…Prime delivery folks that are forced to walk past llamas who are standing on the porch, or waltz with circling goats…mailmen who hold packages above their heads so the goats can’t eat them…Facebook buyers who stand at the end of the sidewalk asking if it’s safe to come up to the door because Sweetie our llama is staring them down as she guards the front door…everyone being startled as a donkey HEE HAWS so loud that it sounds like a sonic boom, or the alpaca screaming at the stranger he doesn’t recognize.

Yet, my favorite would be folks who know us and ask before they walk in if Chippie is around, because they’re concerned that our 7lb shaking bundle of nerves chihuahua might attack them with those sharp teeny tiny teeth! (helpful hint: he only usually ‘smiles’ for the camera and is quite friendly in person…shhh!)

Yep, it’s fun and always an adventure to come to the farm to drop off, pick up, or try to visit! You never know whats going to greet, chase, stare down, or yell at you!

And then, there’s Super Farmer…

playing dead…again

Yep, our animals play dead so good in the front pasture. where everyone can see them, that a young man stopped when I was out there feeding the dingbats, called me over to the fence and pointed to Laci who he said has been laying there motionless for at least an hour!

At first I couldn’t see her from where we were standing and he kept saying things like, ‘dead llama…not moving…could be sick!’ I was looking for one of the llamas, because that’s what he was saying…dead llama. I saw Laci out there napping after a full morning of coma eating.

I started to yell out my LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA LLAMA. No immediate response, well, unless you count an opportunistic pig. He then pointed to the brown lump and said, right there, “dead”?

I saw my mini tank laying there and, I gotta admit, I was concerned, she wasn’t moving or twitching her tail! So I loudly said, “Yo, Laci!” She perked up and looked at us. He was relieved and I felt like I had to explain to him that for the last 12 years the horse naps after eating for hours.

Yup, she has freaked me out more times than I can count which has made me force Chad to go out there to check on her, over and over and over again! I babbled on and on for about 5 minutes causing the young man to slowly back step to his car. I don’t understand why he could be so concerned one moment then rush to get away from me like I’m a crazy lady who talks about animals playing dead just to spite her.

(By the way, they do!!!)

a looooong winter!

My winter barn fun has begun already and it hasn’t even snowed yet! It is COLD, windy, wet, grey, rainy and downright miserable out there. All creatures big and small on four legs are now huddled in the barn. Now mind you, its a big, spacious barn with a cozy spot for everybody. Do they spread out and lay down in their own corner of soft straw? NO! They huddle in one tiny spot which makes them angry at each other cause there isn’t enough room to be happy!
I walked in and there they were…3 llamas, 1 alpaca, one horse, one donkey, two goats and 5 escaped chickens. In a small area about 10 x 15 as two more bigger spaces that are just as warm and cozy are empty, well one had a lounging cat and a pecking hen. The girl llamas Sweetie & Violet, were spitting at the boys. Dunkay was pushing the goats with his butt, Laci was guarding enough space for 3 animals, refusing to let anyone else come near it (of course it was by the food) and the hens were clucking at everything that moved, to stay away from a newly built nest tucked under the hay that the natives were trying to eat when not fighting. I walked in and yelled at everyone to “STOP IT, BEHAVE YOURSELVES”! I don’t know why I do that…never works for more than 3.2 seconds. They look at me, glance at each other, snicker and go right back to what they do best, which is…fighting, spitting, shoving, bickering, guarding and being naughty! Yep, its gonna be a loooong winter!

Fun With Mother!

Fun with Mother

It was Mother Marathon day and boy was I busy with mother!

She had a test at the hospital that not only took 200 hours, but after I got her in the Jeep, the wheel chair that we were using to make her life easier (and my muscles stronger) decided to take off on its own because somebody didn’t have the brake on.

Yep, Nancy chased an empty wheelchair down the parking lot demanding it to stop as it weaved itself through rows of cars just to irritate me! Do you know how embarrassing it is to run past people chasing a wheelchair shaking my fist at it?

Anyhoo…after my chair race, I took mother to Walmart where she found her favorite pre-made turkey sandwiches and grabbed every single one (21…22…23…). I pointed my finger at mother, ordering her to put some back, no hogging the food!

She stood there glaring at me with her arms holding more sandwiches than she can eat in a month and half, growled at me that if I touched HER sandwiches, she would cut me out of her Will…and not talk to me for years! I must admit, I was tempted to grab a sandwich or two just to see what she’d do, but no, I’m a good daughter and told her to drop her goodies in the basket before the manager came out to lecture her about saving food for others who also like their homemade turkey sandwiches!

Then, with her many, many, many, many oven roasted turkey sandwiches in tow, we were off to Krogers. On arrival, a nice employee saw us slowly, and I do mean slowly, walking through the rain up to the entrance. She took pity on us and met us on the sidewalk with a scooter so mother could be a motorcycle mama!

Mother huffed and puffed and refused to get on the contraption that is made for OLD people (she will be 88 in less than two weeks). The nice lady and I sweet talked her into giving it a try (she has been on one before, and didn’t like it). We showed her how to control it and let the woman go!

3-2-1…and she was off! It was super busy in the store, more people than I could count and it seems like they were all shopping by the door, so mother decided to be a rebel and go into the store through the exit. Every self check out machine was in use which included a line of filled baskets that need to be checked out that snaked through half the store! Mother saw all those people and gunned it…sorta.

Those folks saw her coming and I swear it was like watching Moses part the Red Sea. People big and small, stepped or jumped to the side to let her through. I was impressed! We got through the whole store without knocking down any displays or people!

The only problem during the visit was at the end as mother got the dang scooter stuck on the curb. Yep, that’s right…the curb! The back wheels were half on the sidewalk and half on the street! Mother gunned it again, but only the wheels would spin. So me, being the good daughter that I am, had to push the dang thing off the curb without tipping it and mother over…in the rain! Pretty standard really.

Doo Doo?

Fun with mother.

I learned today that mother is a doo-doo person! Huh you ask?

Well, most people when they get irritated, mad, annoyed or super frustrated, will accidentally let a dirty word slip out…you know, things like ‘poop’ ‘s#@!’ ‘Crap’.
Not my mommy! She let it rip today with a loud angry DOO-DOO!

Yep…doo-doo! 😁

I’m sorry but I just couldn’t take her seriously after hearing that horrible swear word come out of her innocent little old lady mouth!

I looked at her as a tiny giggle escaped my non stop suprised smile and said, “really mom? Doo-doo?”

She straightened out her jacket, held her head high and reminded me as she shook her cane towards me, that I’m not big to put over her knee!

addieacres #funwithmother

Pigs like fish!

I learned something new today. Pigs like fish.
Yep, that’s right…fish! Eyeballs, fins, scales…the whole thing!

I had a bag of tiny fish, I believe they were smelt. We don’t eat a lot of tiny fishies, so I thought I would give all those birds (chickens) outnumbering us 10 to 1 a real treat! What bird doesn’t like fish? Well, I guess mine don’t!

I threw that bag of fish, eyeballs and all, onto the ground and yelled, “Come and get it!!” They all know when they hear mom yelling, that food is on the ground or flying through the air to feed them.

Every animal and bird in the pasture and barn, including a few critters I’m sure don’t live here, came galloping, flapping, and waddling to me to see what yummy new treat I threw on the ground!

However, they all came to a dead stop, sniffed the scaley things on the ground looking at them with disgust. They looked at each other, back to the smelly fish, looked at me with anger in their eyes for tricking them, turned on their hooves or webbed feet and waddled, flapped and galloped away…except for who?

That’s right, Remi the garbage disposal, I mean pig! She looked at each one of those tiny, slimy, yucky things with a glee in her beady eyes, looked up to heaven as if to thank God for such a wonderful blessing. Then, she got her vacuum going!

She sucked up every one of those fish within 6.4 seconds. That pig licked her chops afterwards, winked at me as if saying, ‘You did good mom, I’m expecting more tomorrow’. Then, she waddled away with her tail wagging.

Yep, that was one happy pig! 🐖 🐷 🐽

chihuahua chases the rooster!

Oh my gosh, this was so funny! Of course these dingbats never do this stuff when I’m filming!

I was throwing the ducks, chickens and both dogs pieces of chicken (yes, there’s something sick, yet intriguing to feed chickens chicken!)
when Chippie finally got a piece close enough to grab.

BUT, as soon as Chippie picked it up, one of the roosters standing next to him, grabbed the meat right out of his mouth! Hahaha haha! 🐔

That’s not the best part! That rooster took off running with Chippie chasing him to get his tiny piece of food back. Of course there wasn’t anywhere for the rooster to run and hide under, so they ran around and around the Jeep! A large rooster with a big piece of meat hanging out of his beak being chased by a tiny growling chihuahua!

I’m not sure who got it because they were on the other side of the Jeep when I heard a bark, squawk, sounds of a scuffle a couple of feathers flying up into the air. Honestly, I think Biscuit got it because he came from around the car licking his chops! 🐕

Saying goodby to the Caddy

My mother had to give up her beloved Caddy today. It was too much to fix beyond what the insurance company was willing to pay.

So, we sold it to the salvage yard.

As my mother tearfully reminisced about her 20 year old car ‘baby’ to the patiently listening man, I went out to the Caddy and sat inside for a moment. I started to cry as my own memories of this much loved car came out of my heart.

I ran my hand along the dash board taking in its familiar smell, remembering how I used to laugh with my mom inside this car and the last time I let her drive me anywhere in it.

I could see 9 year old Kyle buckled in the back seat waving at me as grandpa and grandma drove away, taking him home with them for a weekend of fun.

I cried.

I thanked God for blessing my mom with this car for so many years. I thanked Him for the memories I share with my mom going to garage sales, carting the grandkids around, filling the back seat with groceries.

I know it’s just a car, but ‘Charlotte’ was part of our family and we loved her.

When I was finished thanking God while slowly walking down memory lane with cherry red Charlotte, I got mother into the Jeep to leave.
I asked her if she wanted to say goodbye to her baby. She said that she just couldn’t, please drive away. She wouldn’t even look back.

I understood.

Mom and I both cried together when we left. For me, it’s a part of my life with my mom, my children when they were young.

For my mom…it was last thing my dad bought for her when they had money, it was her independence, it was something she cherished.

As we parted ways with her beloved Caddy, a big part of mom’s heart remained in the parking lot. We sat at Clear lake and cried a little more.
God has a plan. He will take this heartbreak, turning it into something wonderful just for her.

God makes all things new and ‘uses it all’. He knows why the Caddy had to go. In the meantime, I am now her taxi cab for everything…a job I am honored and blessed to do! 🚗 💔🙏

The glass house

The glass house

Some days I feel like I’m trapped in the glass house maze at the fair. There are times when I stand at the opening of the maze to see hundreds of myself staring back, with each image reflecting back a memory, an emotion, a dream, a regret. Some even stare back at me with pity or anger.

On the days I find myself on the stage of mirrors, I know I have to go inside and find myself, the one that reaches out to give me peace, but it’s so hard to find that one reflection that keeps all the others from calling me. They call me to stand in front of them and stare at images that want me to be trapped like them, inside the glass mirrors that hold anger, helplessness, anxiety or depression.

So I slowly walk through the maze of myself, searching for that single mirror that holds everything good amongst the pain. Most times I find it right away because that image is clear, clean and seems to have a slight glow among the other mirrors. In contrast, the other mirrors are dulled and stained with tear streaks or finger marks from trying to get out.

I also have to keep myself away from the mirrors that distort my image, making me see myself the way the world wants to reflect instead of the Living God’s persistent loving.
Those mirrors of distortion are the hardest to walk past and not stare at because I want to agree with them, shouting out, “see, I knew I wasn’t anything better than smudge marks or special in any way!”

So, I walk through the maze of mirrors, at times getting lost, running into dead ends, putting my hand on the hand that reaches for me on the other side, telling myself that I’m sorry that I can’t help you! I walk and walk, searching for the real me, the person that smiles back at me, encouraging me to keep going where there is an exit from all the images that hold so much pain.

Nancy will find the way out, because Jesus walks with her in the maze of life that traps me at times. He always leads me to the one true image of myself, the one that has hope, hangs onto dreams given by the King of Kings, the one that knows how to smile, who knows Love and gives it out, the only image in there that will drop her to her knees as the other ones stare and worship Jesus, thanking Him for the pain as well as the joy in my personal house of mirrors.

kyles_story #addieacres

Buyers and alpacas!

Okay, this was great!

I sold an item on Facebook and the nice gentleman came to pick it up for his wife.
I heard Biscuit barking, so I looked out the window to see him standing at the end of our sidewalk. I opened the door only to walk straight into Lincoln our alpaca who was guarding my front door!

The nice man said in a nervous voice, “I didn’t know if he would attack me, so I didn’t come up.” I assured him that this dingbat was harmless and that he likes to hang on the porch with me or stare at us through the door and windows.

He then cautiously walked up to talk with me as an alpaca, 2 inches from me, stared him down. Of course, as soon as I handed him the plastic bag, goat Cocoa Latte appeared out of thin smoke and tried to eat the bag he was holding!

So, here this nice, quiet older gentleman was standing on the sidewalk talking to some nutty farm lady with an alpaca next her on the front porch as a goat not only tried to eat the treasures he just bought, but jumped up on him. Yup, Cocoa jumped not once, not twice, but three times as I scolded him like he was a naughty 4 year old!

Question is…will they ever dare to buy something from us again??