All posts by Addie Funny Farm

About Addie Funny Farm

Addie Acres is located in the middle of corn fields with woods outlining the edges. There is a big metal barn that is home to 4 Llamas', 1 Alpaca, 2 mini horses that are so fat it's hard to call them 'mini', 1 donkey that thinks he's a dog, 2 ding bat goat's that never, ever shut up, too many hens, 4 roosters that have their days and nights mixed up, 5 barn kitties that watch the mice instead of chasing them and 4 spotted bunnies that have escaped their pens and are now helping the rabbit population go from basic brown to black and white mixed with butterscotch. My animals rule, control and play tricks on the humans that live a few feet away! Addie Acres has become the 'Funny Farm'! I've been jotting down our experience with the animals for awhile now and have decided to put all my stories in one place. Who knows, maybe someone else can find humor as they shake their head in agreement. Only us FARMERS really knows what goes on inside the "Barn"! Enjoy my journey as I try to control the animals that rule me!

Bitty Boy goes to heaven

My Bitty Boy slipped out of my clutching arms and into the healing arms of Jesus tonight. I selfishly held on to my baby for as long as I could. But the Lord wanted him to go home and carried him away. I can’t describe the heart ache that I feel. My little kitten who I bottle fed and who drove me crazy. My little ball of fur who scared the heck out my Pit. The kitty who nursed on my robe every morning and every evening before bed. My little cat who happily sat outside our bedroom door waiting to greet me when I got up every single day. Never in a million years did I think this cat was going die or be taken from me so soon.
I’ve spent the evening thanking God for allowing me to nurture and love this kitty for the last 6 months as the non stop tears spill.

I will praise Him in this storm.

This is the last pic I took of Bitty Boy as I held him before he died. He did not die alone, he was surrounded by his mommy and daddy, brothers and sister. πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ˜­πŸ˜­


Fun with mother and walmarts conveyor belt!

Fun with mother

Note to self…next time I go to Walmart with my mother who walks slower than a snail…never put her magazines that she can’t live without on the self check out belt!

Yep, we put her old fogey gossip magazines on the conveyor belt that automatically rolls when you put your can’t function/live/survive without items on. It moves faster than we can empty our baskets and we made the mistake of putting the 3 magazines on it first. That shiny black belt took off like a speeding bullet with her stuff still wobbling on it, racing to the check out machine! Well, there is a slight separation from the belt and the counter… perfect size for a thin paper item to slip down into! Yep, you guessed right…it started to eat her magazines, all three at once. The pages were flapping, the belt was squealing and I had to drop all my items back into the cart and run to save her ‘I must have those’ mags from disappearing into the twilight zone of lost things that float around somewhere in space for eternity! And yes, I’m sure you figured out that I played tug of war with walmarts conveyor belt and mothers magazines as she wailed behind me about the very last People’s magazine in the city of La Porte! I tugged, it rumbled a growl at me, and mother threatened it with bodily harm! I finally got her precious magazine out of the teeth of Mr. Belt who works for Rod Sterling and handed them to mother. She grabbed the now crumbled pages telling the world the juicy secrets of people she will never meet, clutched it close to her heart, closed her eyes and loudly thanked the heavens! I apologized to the folks who were slowly backing away from us in fear, and tried to pretend that I wasn’t related to her!

Stink bug spoils the mood

Note to self…next time when Chad and I are having a relaxing, cuddly time with a roaring fire, do not, I repeat… do not have hubby chase a stink bug that found it’s way into our cozy living room, crawling up the wall to throw into the fire! The well known aroma that they are so famous for, does not burn up or get lost in the smoke!
The mood has now been broken.
We are currently sitting in the kitchen discussing, ‘you told me too…no I did not…yes you did…I just wanted it out of my house…not my fault the fire stinks…yes it is!’

The silent treatment

Well dang, now my hubby is giving me the silent treatment.
He was taking my vintage style silver Christmas tree downstairs to the basement (all wrapped up in big black garbage bags) when I said, “please don’t fall, I don’t want my tree to get wrecked!” He stopped halfway down the stairs, glared at me past the shiny black plastic with a few silver limbs poking out here and there, and said, “really? Your worried about the stupid tree?!” I casually answered, “well yeah, all my favorite bulbs are on it!”
Apparently, it was the wrong answer. Ooopps!


Ah the farm, a peaceful and tranquil place where the llamas frolic in the pasture, chickens peck away at the brown grass, the turkey barks at the neighbors, the chunky little pig roots for grain leaving holes all over, the baby goat jumps gleefully from hay bale to straw bale, the donkey bellows out his HEEE HAAAAAW, and our woolly mammoth Laci stands in a trance most of the day from eating to much. So much activity and fun! Until…we come home to find 3 llamas, 1 alpaca, an over energetic goat, and a potbelly pig on the wrong side of the fence as the donkey and mini tank gallop back and forth in frustration on the right side of the fence because they can’t run down the road with the other escapees. Chad and I pull in our driveway and automatically go into ‘loose farm animal’ panic mode. He runs to the right to herd 5 animals, and I go for the easy one, Sammie who is on the other side of property.
I of course film my little adventure. Chad…he is chasing, yelling and flinging his arms at 2 llamas and one alpaca who decided to split up and run in opposite directions! He wasn’t worried about the pig, she found a huge pile of clover and was in pig heaven. So Mr Super Farmer goes after Sweetie (with a baby goat following of course) who thought it would be fun to sprint towards the road to help her daddy get some much needed exercise. But! Nancy saved the day by running (which I found that I don’t do so well at my age) around the corner to stop Sweetie from galloping into the road! Sweetie stopped. I stood there with my arms outstretched and we had a real life Clint Eastwood stare down. She looked past my shoulder, then back at me. I glared at her and said, “go ahead, make my day!” She took a couple of steps to the right, I matched hers while going forward. She then side stepped to the left, so I had to resort to doing my famous crazy farm lady yodel. For some reason, they all hate my farm call. She turned around, galloped towards Chad who was shaking the magic cup of sweet grain! I followed the defeated llama as I did my l victory dance. Super Farmer took over with his side kick Sugar Baby and got her over the gate as I kept the others away from the 5 foot opening. Yep, a team Chad and I are! We chase, fling arms, coax, threaten animals with no grain for a year…or worse, giving the warm spot in the barn to the ‘creature’, we sweet talk them with promises that can’t be kept, and my favorite…do the victory dance together as we high five each other for another successful farm animal capture!

Teenager Cat!

Bitty Boy is driving me crazy right now. He is in the annoying, wild, I’m going to do what I want, when I want teenager stage! It’s like he can’t sit still or leave anything alone! He hides behind corners, under tables, waiting…stalking anything that moves or floats past his line of vision! Most times I don’t see him coming! I try to walk from one room to another, peacefully minding my own business, usually with an arm load of laundry when I see out of the corner of my eye, this striped gray thing flying through the air…front legs stretched out, claws protruding from furry paws, an evil grin with twitching whiskers, an ear splitting screech warning me to drop everything and run before I have a ball of fur plastered to my leg that will be burning in pain from 12 tiny needles! Sometimes I get away, sometimes I don’t. I’ve had a couple of victories where I was able to jump aside and let him fly past me…which is great because as he is sailing past my now safe legs, he is squinting at me with a ‘your gonna pay for this’ glare as all four legs are flinging, desperately trying to find something, anything, to grab ahold of. I give him a grinning nod of ‘I rule, you drool’ look before he hits the wall along with a “HA”!
Bitty Boy gathers himself, shakes it off, then slinks to another corner where he can hide to wait for an easier target like Biscuit (he learned weeks ago the hard way, not to touch Chippie) or look for Misty Blue to pitter patter past him. If the other animals spot his glowing eyes, they take another route or turn around. But Bitty Boy is determined to attack anything that moves or doesn’t! I find him on top of curtains pawing at cob webs, hear him climbing up the back of my chair, see him sneaking around under tables, watch him pretend to be sleeping as one of the other animals tip toe past him, and best of all, go after Super Farmers plate of food so they can play the non stop ‘toss the cat away from dinner’ game!

Yep, he’s a handful right now.

But like all children, God made them adorable when they sleep so all our plans to give them away at the crack of dawn goes away as we gaze upon their tiny faces…of course, the sleeping precious face I’m gazing upon, has front paws that are twitching with claws going in and out as he dreams about my legs!

Mother’s driving

Fun(?) with mother

Well, my Jeep was once again at the mechanics because it is determined to be worth more than what it really is…a LOT more.

I finally got the call that I could pick it up and tearfully listened to all the work it needed and the cost to get it back. My mom was over visiting and offered to drive me to Dave’s Auto Repair instead of waiting for Chadwick to come home which could be hours. Now mind you, I’ve had many car rides with mother and after the last ‘Mr Toads Wild Ride’ with her, I made a pinkie swear to never, ever, never let her drive me anywhere…ever. But alas, Nancy had a lapse in judgement and I heard a voice that sounded just like mine say, “okay!” Before I could take it back, mother had picked up her cane and was racing to the cherry red Cadillac, swinging keys in hand, grinning from ear to ear all the way! I had another lapse in judgement (must be this swan thing) and thought to myself, ‘I’m sure it’ll be fine, its just down the road, how bad could it be?’


My first ‘oh my gosh what have I done’ thought came when she turned to me, gave me an almost evil smile and said, “buckle up dearie, mamas got the wheel!”
We zoomed out of the dark driveway and got to the stop sign in 4.7 seconds which normally takes 3 minutes…if speeding! I tried to say something like, “Get me out of this car! Are you crazy? Give me those keys! What’s wrong with you! Somebody help!” Before my lips could move, she turned the corner on two wheels! I was trying to talk myself out of jumping from a moving car when she slowed to a turtle’s crawl. I relaxed a bit, but I was confused. I stupidly asked why we were going so slow. She informed me that she can’t see when other cars are coming at her. Really? Theres like 500 cars coming in the opposite direction! I said “that’s it, pull over, I’m driving!” But mother would not. She was going to drive all the way there, sight or no sight! We made it to Johnson Road without going into someone’s yard and she seemed to be better…until I yelled, “slow down! Brakes!”
She looked at me confused (which frightened me even more because her eyes were on me) and asked what my problem was! I pointed to the car ahead of us that was at a complete stop trying to turn left! She said, “Oh, I was wondering what he was doing!” Again I did the sign of the Cross, making bargains with God if he would just get us there in one piece. We made it to Dave’s, I paid another one of his house payments and told them about my experience with mother getting there because I needed to get it out of my system! They nodded in horror offering words of comfort, (I think I saw them also do the sign of the cross when I was going out the door), I picked up my ‘should be dipped in pure gold’ keys, and got my purse out of mothers race car. I dug around in my bag looking for my contact solution. I then anointed it to be Holy Water. I sprinkled it all over her car asking God to please surround it with Angel’s and get her home safely. I told her to call me when she got home so I know she made it. She cheerfully called me within the hour thanking me for letting her drive her baby around! I hope she thoroughly enjoyed our little adventure because she will never, ever, never drive me around again!