All posts by Addie Funny Farm

About Addie Funny Farm

Addie Acres is located in the middle of corn fields with woods outlining the edges. There is a big metal barn that is home to 4 Llamas', 1 Alpaca, 2 mini horses that are so fat it's hard to call them 'mini', 1 donkey that thinks he's a dog, 2 ding bat goat's that never, ever shut up, too many hens, 4 roosters that have their days and nights mixed up, 5 barn kitties that watch the mice instead of chasing them and 4 spotted bunnies that have escaped their pens and are now helping the rabbit population go from basic brown to black and white mixed with butterscotch. My animals rule, control and play tricks on the humans that live a few feet away! Addie Acres has become the 'Funny Farm'! I've been jotting down our experience with the animals for awhile now and have decided to put all my stories in one place. Who knows, maybe someone else can find humor as they shake their head in agreement. Only us FARMERS really knows what goes on inside the "Barn"! Enjoy my journey as I try to control the animals that rule me!

Bitty Boy 2 the attack cat

I’m beginning to look like a walking scratching post, or like I was lost in the jungle for months and had to fight my way through thorny bushes, or had a cat fight with a mountain lion, or rolled down a hill with stickes!

Yep…THAT cat, Bitty Boy2. He wants to attack me when I’m sitting, walking, laying down, standing, washing dishes, watering my flowers, feeding the large or small animals, doing laundry, putting shoes on (he loooooooves shoe strings!), snuggling with Mr. Growly, reading, and posting pics. Ah, but the worst, he waits for me to get out of the shower and, if I forget to shut the door, that cat bats at me through the shower curtain, then I have to peak around the curtain to make sure he’s not there waiting to plant himself on my wet leg, thus making me slip!

THAT cat does his best sneak attacks when I’m watching TV because I never know from where he’s going to fly at me from! He could be behind or next to the chair, under the table, on top the mantle,the ceiling fan, poor Biscuit’s back, or from Chad tossing him towards me because he had enough of the cat trying to nurse on his whiskers. Where could he be? I find myself looking for glowing eyes staring at me.

Not to mention, my house usually sounds like a non stop horror film with cats screeching, doing their hair raising low growl at each other mixed in with the sound of an angry dog snapping his teeth together, or a woman screaming (me) from pain (tiny claws climbing up my leg), or a man’s voice loudly demanding that this horrible creature get away from him as he runs from room to room with a tiny fur ball of terror leaping at him, paws slicing through the air with its sharp claws protruding out and corresponding bells on his collar warning that soon there will be pain! Or, Biscuit hiding under blankets (never works, that cat knows which lumps are alive and which ones aren’t).

The only thing in this house that is left alone is Chippie! Our 7lbs of snapping teeth refuses to tolerate cats, or other dogs, or humans, actually, anything that breathes or moves! I swear this cat has Golden King’s (Bitty Boy1) ‘I must attack’ instinct wrapped tightly around his!

The only words I hear coming out of my mouth since he got here is, “STOP IT! NO! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!” Good gosh Martha, I can’t wait for him to outgrow his wild teenage cat years! Now, to get out the door with out new battle scars.


Losing Sugar baby

My heart is heavy tonight. Our little Sugar Baby went home to be with Jesus today. I know he was just a goat, but us farmers love our animal’s, that’s why we have farms…so we can pack a barn or two with lots of furry and feathered critters. Sugar was with us for a few short months and was barley a year old. Doc Smith thought that because of this wacky weather, he got a lung infection. The cold and rain yesterday did him in. He couldn’t fight it.

Chad and I both enjoyed this little guy. He loved Sweetie the llama and followed her around like a love struck teenager. He enjoyed being in the house checking out the humans habitat and sat with Chad and me on the swing. He had a sweet personality and gave me fun stories to write about. I always told Chad that if we were forced to move, I would take Sammie, Lincoln and Sugar Baby…I wouldn’t give those three up.

I don’t understand why God wanted our little goat to go home to be with Him. It is not mine to question His ways. I only see a little bit of today, God sees tomorrow and all my days. He knew how much I loved my Sugar and knew the pain that we would experience with his passing. I trust God. He gave me my baby goat and I gave him back through tears. I’ve been thanking the Lord today for the gift that I handed over to Him.
I will praise Him in this storm through tears and a broken heart because I serve an awesome, faithful, loving God.

Lazy morning

A lazy, warm Tuesday morning. I’m so relaxed sitting in my comfy chair, sipping my Irish cream coffee. I’m looking out the window watching the birds jump from branch to branch. I can hear the birdies chirping, the breeze stirring the leaves….the dogs snoring. Oh what a wonderful morning….that is until I decided to get up and see what the naughties were doing in the pasture. My coffee is now spilled in the sink, the birds have flown into another tree in fear because I am now yelling out the window at Dunkay and Laci who are squaring off with the llamas for their part of the lush, green grass on the llama side of the field. It’s like watching an old movie where the greasers meet up with the ‘wanderers’. They line up, stare each other down, there’s a huff and a puff, hooves pounding the ground, a head shake, ears back, eyes squinted and tails swishing back and forth in agitation! And while they are doing their, “yes I am, no your not”… The goats have snuck past and are munching away at the llamas protected grassy gold!!! I give up, they are not listening (oh what a surprise!) this is a job for Super Farmer! He can go out there with his silver police whistle and break up the gang fight.

Another ‘fun’ memory that popped up from 3yrs ago

Chippie at an estate sale?

Someone came to the sale today with their adorable little dog Bella. She follows us on Facebook and asked why I didn’t have Chippie with us. I kinda joked about it, but then realized she was serious.

So I thought to myself, what would it be like if we had Chippie with us all day? Hummmmm 🤔

This is how I think our day would go if Chippie the easy going, gentle, super friendly, 7lbs of growling teeth was with me.

I get up at the crack of dawn because I have to, because I have an annoying rooster named C.S.(short for chicken soup) practicing to be the next superstar on American Idol. I get my tiny growling fur baby out of his bed, practically run to the door back holding him at arms length, and throw him outside (if I dont, I’ll get teeny dent mark’s in my hands) and shut the door with a sigh of relief that I made it without harm.

Then for some odd, weird, strange, I dont know why, bizarre, overwhelming feeling invades my usually normal thinking with, ‘gosh, it would be fun to take Chippie today to get him out of the house!’

Before my reasoning comes back, I grab my Jeep keys, Lil Red, and my snarling bundle to go work around a bunch of people…you know humans…the kind Chippie barely tolerates! So I put my little bundle of joy who hates car rides almost as much as everything else in life, on my lap and off we go. The Chipster wants to hide between my feet and I try to get him to enjoy being a real dog by you know…sticking your head out the window to let the breeze flap your ears as you sniff all the wonderful outside smells that isn’t llama or pig!

I finally make it to the sale without getting into an accident because he wants to play ring around the rosey with the pedals, or losing him out the window. I carry my now extremely grumpy chihuahua past the crowd elbowing each other away from the door so they can be the very first ones in to grab, grab, grab. Many of these folks want to pet Mr Teeth but he wants nothing to do with strangers touching him and he growls making everyone step back in unison.

I get situated with the pup under my shirt (because that’s what Chippie wants, and Chippie gets what Chippie wants!) making me look lumpy and a bit on the unusual side. All customers who come up to pay for their treasures, either do the sign of the cross because they think I’m growing at them without moving my mouth, or throw money at me because my shirt is trying to bite them!

Yep, it’ll be a day of growling, snapping, scaring customers, and me forcing Chad to carry Chippie around as he makes deals with people holding his snarling, intimidating, all teeth chihuahua…which by the way, really does help because folks are terrified of making the tiny dog mad by not agreeing with the price.

Super Farmers flower bed!

Poor Super Farmer. I saw the chickens pecking away in his flower bed early this morning.

Chad spent over an hour a few days ago tilling up the earth, laying down fresh, dark rich soil that he bought special at Tactor Supply just for his little babies. He dug a tiny little hole with his finger, dropped in a single flower seed, covered it up and gave each one a loving pat (which I teased him for). I think I heard him whispering encouraging words to them.

Well, early this morning after C.S. (our rooster) squawked out his annoying ‘gotta get em up’ alarm to us and every neighbor within a 10 mile radius, I looked out the window to see not one, not two, not three, not four…but every chicken we own in Super Farmers flower bed scratching away the dirt pecking away at bugs and seeds!
Did I go out there like a good wifey and chase those birds away until they lost their feathers? Nope…I causally walked back into the bedroom, gave my hubby his steaming hot cup of joe, and just happened to mention something about chickens, flower bed, seeds gone.
Chad took a sip of his much too hot coffee, opened his eyes wide to look at me with his head tilted as if to listen carefully and asked, “what did you just say?”
I repeated through sips, something about chickens and goodbye seeds.
He flung those covers back, jumped out of bed and ran to the back door where he looked out the window to see not only the chickens in his flower bed, but now the duck and turkey had joined them with their beaks buried in the tilled up again dirt!
He ran outside barefoot in his man jammies, waving his arms and yelling like a crazy person! I stood inside the doorway (I’m not going out there in my red puppy dog robe for the neighbors and passing cars to see…again!) drinking my coffee trying not to laugh out loud! Super Farmer chased those birds out of his flower bed away from his precious seeds, around the garage and into the back pasture towards the barn…him screaming out warnings of roasted chicken for dinner, them squawking with wings flapping, feathers flying! After he got those pesky birds out of sight, he came back walking gingerly because he realized that he was barefoot. He got to the back porch where I was now sitting on my swing enjoying this beautiful Spring morning with entertainment, when I nonchalantly pointed toward his flower bed so he could see that the pig broke out again and was where? That’s right, rooting around in his flower bed! Chad took off again doing his man yell waving his arms. Last I saw, there was a fat black and white potbelly pig waddling as fast as her stubby little legs could go towards the front of the house with some nutty guy chasing it in bare feet and jammies with little yellow minions on them! I noticed a few cars slowing down to watch the non stop circus act that goes on over here.
Man I love this farm!

Dog paddling llamas?

I made the comment on one of my pics about Super Farmer teaching the llamas how to dog paddle. Well, I shouldn’t say such silly things because now I’ve been picturing it over and over in my non stop, super active imagination.

I could see this actually happening, and oh I wish it would!

Chad teaching the animals how to dog paddle would go something like this…

Well, we decided to dig an 8 foot deep pond on our land so we could stock it with fun things like fish, turtles, clams, snails, bullfrogs, toads, and help the mosquito population to explode! I even thought about getting a couple of swans and a Mallard or seven, maybe even a blue Heron! I can picture this now beautiful pond sparkling in the sunlight, a 20 lb bass or two jumping up out of the crystal blue water to help keep down the mosquito population that we also were hoping would thrive for the many frogs and toads who hide in the lily pads that Chad threw in!

The only problem, Mr Super Farmer thought it would be a great idea to put it smack in front of the barn so the animals would get plenty of exercise swimming to and from the barn! I told him a million, yes a million, times that that was a bad idea. But noooo, Mr ‘I Know better’ put that crazy body of water in front of the barn! After a few months of filling it up with the garden hose, which by the way I told him was another bad idea, our beautiful pond was ready!
And what did those llamas do? Stand in front of the pond looking at the barn on the other side with a confused, mixed with anger look! Chad proudly stands there with the frustrated animals explaining how he did all this just for them. They are NOT happy. Nobody knows how to swim. I smugly stand there reminding him what a bad idea it was to put that oversized puddle in front of the barn that nobody can get to now!

So…what bright ideal does he come up with? Teaching llamas, a donkey, mini-horse and a fat ‘sure-to-sink’ pig (hope he knows how to do CPR on a pig!), and a small goat (who I’m sure will just jump over it anyways) to dog paddle! You can stop rubbing your eyes, you read right…dog paddle!

Super Farmer will start with Sammie because he’s easy going and has the desire to please daddy at all times. Chad wrestles a harness on him, forces him into the cold water and starts to dog paddle around the freaked out llama who can’t reach the bottom trying to get him to understand that he is to move all fours the same way he is as he swims in circles around the gasping llama who is desperately trying to keep his head above water! I throw a bright orange life ring to the now sinking llama as Mr ‘Not So Bright’ pulls on the rope to get him back to shore! Chad gets the bewildered animal safely on dry ground as the other 3 run over to poor Sammie who is shaking off water like a dog after a bath! The four of them line up and glare at Chad as I slowly back away because this is one battle that Chaddie is going to fight on his own!

Yep, that’s how I pictured our, I mean HIS, attempt at teaching the llamas how to dog paddle!

Forever love

Working the sale can be exhausting, and sometimes it’s hard to be ‘little miss cheery’, especially when folks argue with me over a dollar then open their wallet with hundreds of dollars inside. Or complain that the item they came for is already gone and just go on and on and on about it. Mornings are too early for me to take a stranger’s criticism, it makes me want to push my christianity down for a few minutes and explode!

But then there are the times when I see an elderly couple come in holding hands knowingly, like today. I look into the beautiful sky blue eyes of the gentleman who is being led by his partner of the last 60+ years. I can see that he is lost somewhere in the confusion of his mind. It’s the same look my father had in his own baby blues as he fought Alzheimer’s. I stood there for a moment blocking out all other noise, the hustle of people, the whispers of complaints. I locked eyes with the gentleman…mine reminding me of the path I traveled alongside my mother as she fought so hard to keep the only love she’s known by her side for as long as possible…his were straining to figure out if I was someone he is supposed to know. Although I didn’t personally know this man whose blue eyes used to shine with life, I felt like I’ve known him my whole life.
When his devoted wife gently tugged on his hand with her fingers curled around his to move him towards another room, I thought I saw a twinkle, a hint of a sparkle, as if a long lost pleasant memory that brought him joy just passed through is brain like a shooting star! It came and left in a flash of light that became lost in the darkness much too soon. He gave me a split second smile as I returned the favor. I wondered who I was to him in that moment. Was I a lost daughter? A sister who he once teased as a boy? His first crush? A teacher who encouraged him to be the best he could be? I will never know. It helped to put my day back into perspective, reminding me that life is short, fragile and downright unfair at times.

I watched this precious couple leave, her being so gentle and loving with her man of many decades as he tried to figure out the how and why he was there in that strange house. I had to close my eyes to keep a tear from falling because I saw my mom and dad walking down the sidewalk. My parents who started their life together at the tender ages of 17 and 18…laughing, planning, dreaming together for their future in the warm summer sand that they playfully threw at each other. My mom and dad’s golden years didn’t have that fairy tale ending every little girl hopes for. But the love they shared was a Cinderella dream come true.

My father passed away surrounded by the family who cherished him, each of us holding, touching him. Just before he joyfully leaped into the arms of his Savior, he opened up those baby blues, locking them with the tear filled eyes of his special lady, even though the doctors claimed he was already brain dead. And yet, for a few precious seconds, those eyes burned with the young love that began over 65 years ago at the woman who promised ‘until death do us part’. My daddy wanted to say “I love you” one last time to his bride of 63 years.
I’m positive that the elderly couple who are walking the same difficult path as my parents, will have a similar parting when it’s time for them say goodbye to a lifetime of love, and devotion. Forever love is just that, forever.