Yep, the cicus was in full swing today! If you were lucky enough to drive by, you would’ve see a huge black powerful Pitbull galloping full speed from around the back of our house towards the pasture next to the busy road, then around the front of the house followed closely by a large Tom turkey angrily gobbling a mere 4 tail lengths behind the dog as a crazy farmer lady running with a blue broom only 2 feathers behind the bird, was yelling and swinging the broom! And where did the three of them end up you ask? Inside the house (of course) because Biscuit ran to the back porch to find the door open so he could safely get away from the turkey who hates him! Yep, thats right…BOB followed him inside my house with me right behind them! The turkey had Biscuit cornered, so I took that broom with a choice word or two (sorry Lord) and scooted that dang protesting bird out of my house…again!
Some of the fun things I saw within 45 seconds here on the farm this morning! Gobble Gobble our female turkey chashing C.S. our rooster because for some reason, she hates him…not dislike…hates. A duck racing the pig from the barn for the scratch grain that I just threw on the ground next to the fence for the chickens (the duck won). Two llamas trying to get out the gate at the same time which was opened far enough for one large animal to get through, of course getting stuck together makes them angry, so a spit fight was on! And the best thing I saw while the animals were performing for the circus tryouts? Chad accidentally let Biscuit out with him on the back porch…BOB was out there who ran as fast as his turkey legs would go to attack the dog, which made Chad (in dress clothes and tie) jump between them to keep the fight of all farm fights from happening! THAT was the best entertainment I’ve had all week because it was Chaddie, Biscuit, and BOB doing a fast paced, three step dance that started on the porch…went into the yard, legs and feathers flapping and stomping around the tree (that forced a couple of hens to jump up squawking trying to get out of the way), and back onto the porch. It finally ended with Chad shoving the frightened dog into the house yelling “Oh come on, STOP IT!”, he barely got the door slammed shut when the turkey hit the door with his head because he couldn’t stop in time!
Man I love this farm! So much fun! Lots of exciting things to see and enjoy!!
Fun with mother
I took mother to her first heart cardio exercise program. I personally don’t think she needs it. After all, she handles her cane with no problem with how much she waves it at me when she doesn’t get her way, or how she is still able to turn her shopping cart around the corners on two wheels, or shuffle faster than the other senior that happens to be in a scooter who is going for the same cashier. But mother wanted to try it out since exercise is good for her aging muscles, and it gets her out of the house.
So after two hours of paper work and questions that seemed to never end (I’m not kidding), she had time for only one easy exercise. Mother had to walk for exactly 6 minutes around two chairs wearing a heart monitor. The nice nurse took out her stop watch, hit the button and yelled, “GO” to mother who was half asleep standing there waiting. Well that perked her up! She took off so fast that I’m sure she would’ve passed up FOUR baby turtles! Yes, four!
Mother focused on the task at hand and scooted her walker around those chairs like a real pro! She got past the second chair, stopped, grinned and said, “that was a great work out!” The nurse informed her that it had only been 30 seconds and that she has 5.5 more minutes. Mother angrily looked at her saying, “you’ve got to be kidding! I’ve been walking for at least ten, no 20 minutes!”.
The nice nurse finally convinced her that no, she only walked 30 seconds. I could see in mother’s eyes that she wanted to raise the walker at the nurse so I made eye contact, shook my my head no, reminding her that the nurse is on her side and only wants the very best for her heart. So mother gritted her teeth and took off so fast that every snail in LP County would’ve been proud! She went around and around those chairs like a true Olympian! I think mother will do just fine, I just hope the nurses can keep with her!
Now, on to lap 2…
Why Nancy its 6am, your up so early! I thought you didn’t do mornings or early afternoons or evenings these days?!!
Yep, those roosters started their pre-dawn ‘let’s-wake-up-the humans-just-because-we-can’ cackles under my bedroom window before the sun was able to stretch out its arm and gently rise up into the sky to give a warm welcoming good morning!
Not one, not two, not three ‘I-have-a-death-wish, pain-in-the-tail-feathers birds’…but FOUR roosters gathered in a semi circle like the Rat Pack (only us old folks know who the Rat Pack is) and put on a show as they crrrroooowwwweeddd in disharmony!
Gosh, I hate those birds!
Anyone want a FREE rooster…or two…or three? He comes with one hen so you too can wake bright and early before every living creature within 10 miles and have farm fresh eggs everyday! If you’re lucky, your new hen will hatch a few chicks! Sounds wonderful doesn’t it? Better get here fast, before they’re all gone!
An Addie Acres one of a kind, genuine, original, must have, signed Rooster and hen!! Get em while they last….please.
If this keeps up I may have to throw in a cat, mini-pig, Super Farmer…anything to make the chorus stop! 🐓 🐷 🧔
Chad and I were shopping the other day and saw some walkie talkies on the shelf. I picked them up thinking our grandson Isaac could have fun with G-Pa on the farm with them, when I thought to myself, ‘gosh, I could have fun with these too! I could hide one in the barn and everytime Dunkay walked in, I could yell, “NO DUNKAY! BAD BOY! STAY AWAY FROM THE GRAIN! I’M WATCHING YOU! DO YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOUR DADDY OUT THERE!” I could watch him gallop out of the barn freaking out!
Oh the fun I could have with walkie talkies here on the farm! I can yell out “BOB” from inside the house to make him gobble . I could tell Lincoln there’s a strange dog walking down the street so hurry and do your warning cry.
Oooo, how about snap at Chad while he is doing chores that he needs to throw down more hay bales or chase a rooster out of the hen house, or lecture Remi about how she shouldn’t eat so much without her snorting at me in anger?!
Oh the fun to be had! By George, perhaps, I will go back and buy me a pair or two or six walkie talkies to hide all over Addie Acres!!
Chad and I were sitting in a looooong line at Culver’s waiting for our turn to play ‘Let’s make a deal’ with the squeaky voice in the little box who is always happy to see us with a welcoming ‘our pleasure’ greeting!
As we sit there waiting, a crow-sized wasp flys in through the open window to see if there are any sweets left out in the open that it can grab with its King Crab claws and take back to the nest. Well, Mr. Wasp flys around our heads and in between our flailing arms that resembled a tennis match! I swat the mostly-stinger bug, Chad swats it back towards me! Back and forth we push the wasp towards the other.
After a about 45 seconds of being a tennis ball, Mr. Wasp has had enough of these wacky humans who are acting like frightened children as they cried out for the nice lady inside the box to come out and he beelined out. I’m sure Mr. Big Stinger is at the nest telling all the tiny larva a story about a couple of wacky humans who freaked over teeny tiny him who fought them off with a flap of wings!
Chad and I have been talking about taking more walks, you know, to spend more quality time together, getting some much needed exercise during these trying times. We thought we would start with the walking trails at Kessling Park. Its a smooth scenic path and should be easy for us old folks.
I had this bright idea of taking Mr. Growly, aka Chippie with us to get him away from the turkey who wants to eat him. But since Mr. I’m-never-happy is barely 7 lbs when soaking wet with feet smaller than my thumb, I thought it would be better to buy a doggie stroller. Uh huh, thats right…a dog stroller! A cute purple one of course! My over active imagination has now taken over to show me what a typical walk would look like!
Chad and I pull into the Kessling parking lot with Mr Nope-not-happy on my lap growling at all the squirrels scurrying for dropped pinecones, birds singing in the trees, and an occasional leaf blowing past our vehicle. Chad walks to the back of the Jeep to get out Chippie’s brand new, never used, cute purple doggie stroller with the 500 zippered parts.
After mumbled disagreement, some banging around, and glaring at me through the window for making him take a tiny chihuahua who hates everything on a ‘relaxing’ walk, he gets the cute little doggie contraption together.
He motions me to hurry up, get out and put Mr Snap-at-anything-that-moves into the stroller with the 500 zippers. As usual, I walk my fun loving pup at arms length to put him in the stroller. Chippie takes one look at the thing that wants to trap him inside, and starts his famous low growl that even makes our lamas run and hide! He is also starting to squirm letting us know that he will never, ever, never sit inside that thing! I don’t know what to do, so I quickly give him to Chad before he realizes that our grumpy fur baby is now growling in HIS arms as I step back so he can’t give him back to me!
Now Chippie is really mad! Chad stands next to the purple 500 zippered stroller holding an extremely mad chihuahua that looks like he’s swimming snapping at fish right to left, as far away from his face as he possibly can! I open the stroller, and advise Chad to just throw him in…I will zip it up before he can turn around to jump out to bite our ankles! He tosses in this dog that maybe should never live with humans, I zip it up, and we high five each for a job well done without bites, scratches, or chasing 7lbs of snapping fur down the road!
We then do our paper, rock, and scissors game to see who is going to push the purple stroller that looks like a jiffy popcorn pan, especially as the dog throws himself from side to side trying to escape. As usual, I win so Chad grudgingly pushes a goofy little stroller past other couples pushing real strollers with toddlers, apologizing for the horrible sounds, coming from the one he’s pushing, that inevitably scare their kids.
Yep, that’s what I want to do! I’m ordering one today, should be here by Friday, Chad and I will go for our first family walk on Saturday! I think I’ll add more excitement to our walk and take Biscuit too, who of course will be tied to the stroller that Chad will be pushing! I hope he hangs on tight, because the first rabbit Biscuit sees will make him take off like a bullet dragging a purple stroller with a super angry Chippie and a defeated Super Farmer Chad!
Chad claims I talk to much when he’s trying to work, so he put on ear phones to block out all noise…AKA…my chit chat. I disagree, I hardly ever talk, I’m one of the most quiet people you’ll ever meet! I hardly ever open my mouth to speak, I certainly wouldn’t want to tell him about my exciting day with 7 large animals, or tell him about how many times Chippie snapped at Biscuit, or how BOB gobbled every single time I yelled out his name today (which was around 20 because I was bored), or that I forgot to turn off the hose to the ducks swimming pool for like 3 hours and now we have a large pond beside the barn that is now the llamas new watering hole! And I would never mention (while laughing) to him how HIS pig ate all the scratch grain off the back porch again because she escaped through the hole that he swore up and down that he fixed in such a way that HIS pig would never, ever get through again!! Me…I hardly ever yip yap to the guy!
I had to do my weekly Mother Marathon Day today. As always, it starts early in the morning. Anything before noon for me is too early and this day started waaaaay before high noon. Our adventurous day was to start at the doctor’s office in Michigan City. Of course, neither one of us had been there before. I was a bit worried about finding it, but mother assured me that she wrote down the directions that the nice lady from the office repeatedly told her over the phone as she wrote. She got out her hand written note, turned it around and around trying to read it. She finally admitted that she can’t read her own writing, but not to worry because she remembers what the receptionist told her 10 times over the phone.
I personally was getting nervous, I’ve been down this road before with mother. So I asked mother what the name of the doctor was. She looked at me funny and asked, “What doctor?”
Oh no…here we go. I said, “You know, the doctor we’re visiting today for your check up!”
She responded, ” I dont need a check up!” I’m now rolling my eyes, gripping the steering wheel tighter, took a deep breath and nicely said to my mother who I love and enjoy being around…”mom, the heart doctor who wants to give you a check up today!” She puts a deep frown on her face, taps her fingers on the cane leaning against her legs, then in a flash, she has a light bulb moment exclaiming, “Oh yes, the nice young man who fixed me up two weeks ago…what’s his name again?”
At this point, I just want to get there and asked her for the address for the umpteenth time which, of course, she doesn’t remember. After a few minutes of bickering back and forth, we figured out the address and, at that very second, i see his office out of the corner of my eye…we had to turn around.
I then got mother in. I sanitize her chair, we watch the nice ladies in colorful masks buzzing around, we talk to the nice young man, we get good news, we leave, i sanitize her cane, door handle and make sure she cleans her hands with my ‘running low’ hand sanitizer in my Jeep.
We are now off to Kroger’s! I make mother wear our new farm mask that Yvonne Addie (Chad’s sister in law) made for us. At first mother was not, no way, going to put on this ‘silly piece of cloth that has a pig on it’ on HER face. I say they’re adorable (they are!), she says ‘a pig, a chicken, my face?’, and so on. Again, we bicker for a few minutes in the parking lot as I point out all the other folks walking by wearing masks and none of them have on a unique, cute, one of a kind mask like ours!
She finally put it on and within 2.8 seconds she complains she can’t breathe with a silly pig thing on her face. “How am suppose to talk?” “What if it falls off?” “It hurts my ears, do I look funny?” “What if someone I know sees me?” “Does this cloth thing do any good? It makes my face too warm! Its creeping up and I can’t see now!”
Oh my gosh…it went on and on and on! You know, this is the Song That Never Ends and goes on and on and on, my friends. I finally got her and the farm mask into Kroger’s, explained the 6 foot rule, sanitized her cart, readjusted her mask, gave her a little push through the door, and went in the opposite direction listening to her muffled voice fade away continuing to complain about not being able to. breathe in this silly…
I caught up with her shortly after getting my groceries and by George she was still going on and on and on, my friends…about the mask that was making her face hot and uncomfortable and…
(story dedicated to Remi 🐷)
Does anyone remember the Beanie Baby craze?
People stood in lines outside the Hallmark store waiting for the clerk to open those doors as you eye balled the folks around you to see if you could beat them to the sacred shelf lined with the newest and rarest Beanie Babies in all of La Porte County? Uh huh…yeah you do.
Well, I was one of those crazy Beanie mamas trying to grab that new adorable kitten with the red heart tag for my kiddos. They absolutely ‘had to have or they’d die, can’t live without’. They simply had to show off to their friends that THEY got the newest Beanie Baby that only a handful of folks actually had. All were convinced the cute little plush animals would be of great value and worth trading family heirlooms for!
Recently, I felt like that Beanie mama from 20 years ago except this time I imagined running from store to store searching for that impossible to find, must have or I’ll die, hand sanitizer and anything that had the name lysol, or Charmin on it! I pictured waiting for certain stores to open those glass double doors while eye balling the ladies who were suspiciously eye balling me back!
I saw myself cupping my hands on the glass, face pressed against the cold window trying to spot the big bold red letters spelling out L.Y.S.O.L. or G.E.R.M.-X! Or, the most coveted item in the 21st century…the item that makes people turn into hoarders…
grabbing machines…the one thing you would buy on the black market for 200 times its worth…TOILET PAPER!! Uh huh, that’s right the rolls of white gold! The absolutely can not, will not, never live with out!
The clerk would open those doors and grey haired ladies raced young women in pony tails in the midst of a whoopy-cay-yi-ya stampede in to grab those hard to find items that no one else surely found within 100 miles!
Yep, that’s what we have been reduced to! The Beanie Baby craze is back, but this time in a bottle that promises to keep you healthy…as long as you don’t touch your face!!