I had to do my barn duties before Lil Red and I went to the lakes. So I went on out to feed, water, chase and yell at animals, only to find Sierra, my mountain goat standing in the pasture, next to the open gate, Baaaaaaaaing loud and long. I looked around for Dillon because goats are like ‘two peas in a pod’….a Pete and repeat, ding and dong….you know, always together. I asked my mountain goat where her side kick was, and she just looked at me with worry in her beady yellow eye slits. I told her not to worry, he has to be here somewhere. So Sierra and I searched the barn…. No Dillon. Searched the back pasture….no Dillon….we searched the yard where the llamas were munching, helping to keep our yard trimmed. No Dillion. I looked down at my black and white mountain goat who has been two steps behind me this whole time, and said, “oh oh…he’s gone”! I swear she understood me because she bleated out a long sad cry. I looked around the yard as my heart was quickly filling with concern, when I heard a loud banging inside the garage. Really? He’s in the garage?? I opened the door, yelled out his name as mountain goat baaaaaa’d behind me, again. Dillon came strolling out! Both goats ran to each other, circled around like they were dancing, touched noses and trotted off to the barn side by side. He was stuck in there all night. I haven’t gone inside the garage yet to asses the damage. I’m pretty sure the cat food and bird seed is gone.
Oh brother! Can I go to the lake now!!??

I swear I’m in the twilight zone in wal mart! I took my mom to pick up her prescription and a few items like 2 hours ago. I checked out and have been sitting on the bench by the door watching thousands of people come in and go out! Where could she be??? I got up four times and strolled down every isle, looking, watching, stretching my neck to see over shelves, asking folks if they’ve seen an elderly lady dressed in brown with 3 items in her basket. How could I lose a little old lady who walks slower than a snail??!! She can’t be that hard to find!! I am now back to sitting on my bench that I have named Bob, watching for her as people walk in, shop and leave. I hope they don’t put a price tag on me or charge me rent! Sheesh!!

Fun with my mother! I was at Clear lake taking pics by the barricades, when I get a phone call from the LP police dept. Ever notice how your hair stands up on end when the voice on the other end of the phone says, “this is the police dept”…one’s heart automatically skips a beat as thoughts of accidents and jail fly through your mind. She asks if it’s me and I hesitate wondering if I should admit it as I frantically think of all the things I did wrong the last 50+ years that might be catching up with me! I give in because now I’m curious. She said there is an officer with my mother, her car won’t start. She told me they’re on Truesdale, silly me, I ask, “where is that”?…hello…I’m on the other side of the lake! She tells me and the dim light bulb suddenly gets brighter! Duh…I’m right there! I look across the lake and see blue lights flashing and asked the nice dispatcher if the officers would have their squad car lights on. She replys yes, and I say, “yep, I see them”. I thank her for not giving me bad news and go rescue my mother on the other side.
I get there and there are 2 squad cars with flashing lights, 4 police officers, 20 cars slowly going past trying to see who’s getting arrested, 5 or 6 gawkers standing across the street with their cell phones out filming the whole thing in case there’s ‘trouble’ and an elderly lady with a cane in the middle of it all…my mother.
I pull up behind the pretty blue lights, get out and walk up to an officer under the hood of my moms car. I stand next him looking at an engine that I know nothing about and ask him what’s wrong. Nobody knows. The car won’t start. Suddenly, a couple of the nice young men smile at me and ask if I’m the one who takes all the pics…my proud mother jumps in and answers for me and tells them all about my pics and whole life starting the day I was born. They kindly nod their heads and back away trying to get to their cars. Two escaped and drove away. Finally, she runs out of breath and needs to sit down. I take this opportunity to call the tow truck and ask the nice young man who patiently listened to my mom brag about her baby, what he thought was wrong. He showed me an oil leak. Not good. The tow truck gets there and now we have to empty her car of her earthly treasures that she can’t live without. So, I’m gathering up 2 canes, magazines, Kleenex box, candy, make up, purse, boxes of who knows what, and other trinkets that I won’t ask my mother about because, quite frankly, I’m scared to know what they are and why! I get all her things gathered and start to walk away when she loudly says, “Nancy, you forgot the pads I bought for you”! I look back and she’s waving in the air, a box of OPENED feminine mini pads. The officers turn red and advert their eyes and I am now mortified! I say, “MOM”!! She looks at me confused and says, “What, I thought you needed these”! I quickly walk back to her, grab the box, stuck it under my shirt and walked back to my Jeep as a car with Addie Acres fans drive by waving and smiling at me.

I went see my doc today because I have this spot on my back. Its kinda brown, rough and just plain ol yucky. Better to be safe than sorry and have my new beauty mark checked out. So…I go in and he looks at it with a special magnifying glass with a little light. He’s squeezing it, feeling it, and under his breath I can hear, ‘ hummmmmm’. To me, ‘hummmmmm’ is not a good sign. I can feel my blood pressure go up, images of my ‘will’ come to mind along with a scalpel, operating tables, family crying at my bedside…you know…fear. Finaly he straightens up, looks me in the eye, takes a deep breath as I hold mine, and says, “barnacle”. Huh? Isn’t that what you find on the back of whales? Under boats? Barnacle?
I say, “excuse me, my hearing must be going bad…what”?? He repeats himself, “barnacle, nothing to worry about”. My brain isn’t comperhending just yet so I say something silly like, “but I never swim in the lakes”! He rolls his eyes, shakes his head and gives me the medical term for it which is worse than ‘barnacle’! All I can do is agree with him and demand assusrance that it won’t spread to my face. Dr Alexander must love hearing that the crazy llama lady is back again with her goofy questions and worries. God bless him!

Since I’m not feeling well today, I thought I would relax and do nothing…having a jammie day. My whole day was perfect. I checked on the natives in the pasture by going the back way so nobody would see me in my llama PJ’s. Everyone was in their own pastures enjoying the cooler weather. The birds were good, they left each other alone which means they still have their feathers. Of course Mr C.S. (short for chicken soup), crowed as soon as he saw me and hasn’t stopped since. Chippie has only growled 100 times instead of his usual 200. Biscuit teased chippie only 100 times instead of his normal 200…which of course is why chippie growls. Bouncer threw up only twice. The kitty’s have left my nice lazy boy chair alone, so no new loose threads. The frog has been entertaining everybody by swimming back and forth whenever he sees movement in front of his cozy home, which is every 3.9 seconds with dogs chasing cats, cats chasing dogs, me chasing dogs and cats, and scooting a goat out of the house. I only found 5 stink bugs in my room today instead 80. And, my mommy came over to see how I was doing. I don’t care how old you are, if your not feeling well and your mother comes to check on you and does her sweet baby talk, (because they can’t help it), it makes you feel better! All in all, its been a good jammie day! Gosh I almost feel good enough to go out and take pics…nah, I’m going to vegetate and watch Judge Judy and wait for Super Farmer to make me dinner!

I am ready for this hot weather to be over! It makes the animals super duper grumpy! I dread going to the barn. I go out there to check on the llamas and they surround me, glaring at me! They squint at me, then jerk their heads upward towards the sky…like, ‘well, when are you going to cool off this weather?! Can’t you see our thick heavy fur? You think its easy walking around in this hot miserable sunshine like this? When’s it gonna cool down?!’
I try to explain I can’t control the outside temp, but I can tell they’re not buying it. Then Dunkay and Laci trot up, push the llamas to the side (which makes them spit at the intruders) who also glare at me with ‘hello, can’t you see we have our winter coats already? You think we got ready for 90+ degree weather because we like to suffer??!! When is it going to snow??!!’ Again, I explain that I only control the food, not the weather. Nobody is believing me. All I can see is glaring eyes and hooves pawing at the dusty hot dirt. I slowly back away with promises of extra grain and an apple or two.
Yep, they’re miserable out there and so am I, because now I have to deal with their bad attitudes until it cools down!

Its official! All birds hate stink bugs and refuse to eat them. I was sweeping off my back porch of empty seed shells and various animal fur clumps, when I saw one of ‘those things’ crawling towards my open door. I raced it to the opening, took my broom and swept it towards one of the hens that was chasing the dust bunnies (she must of been bored)…she saw what she thought to be a plump tasty bug coming her way and jumped up to get it. She got it alright, a beak full of yuck! She spit it out, shook her head a few times and ran to the bucket of water to wash that nasty taste out of her mouth. I was disappointed. I thought the chickens would eat them, helping me to keep them out of my house. But noooooooo…even the birds won’t touch them.

0h, and to add to my Monday on a Friday…the tire to our riding lawn mower fell OFF! Yes, that’s right…off. And what does my farmer husband do?? He DUCT TAPED it back on! Uh huh, that’s what I said,…duct taped it back on. Did it work? Nooooooooo!! It fell off within 2 feet of trying to get it back to the barn. So the tractor sits outside our fence with the tire half on with duct tape all over it. Kinda like our Addie Acres sign chad fixed…with duct tape to keep it on the post. What is it with duct tape and farmers…men?? Tire fell off…duct tape it back on! Sign fell down? Duct tape it to the post! Boot bLew out? Duct tape it back together? Barn hose has a hole? Duct tape it (which by the way, did not stop it from leaking) to stop the water flow. Water bin has a crack? Duct tape it…that doesn’t work either. Mirror on car coming off? Duct tape it back on. Need to buy a new halter for the llamas? Heck no..make them a new one with duct tape. Duct tape the chicken water bucket to the fence, duct tape the birds roosting perch back up, duct tape the ducks turtle sand box, duct tape my swing, duct tape the dog toy back together, duct tape the barn door, duct tape the hens broken wing…etc! Whenever I feel bored, I buy Super Farmer a double roll of duct tape, and watch him lite up with a million ideas of things that he can fix! Soon he’s off and running around the farm looking for something, anything, that’s need to be fixed with ugly gray tape. I did however, put my foot down when he wanted to fix my pretty stained glass wind chimes with duct tape. I glued it back together and it looks brand new. I’m going out soon to hide his duct tape halter that he made for Sammie before he trys it out on him, and make his fur permanently sticky. Sheeeeeesh!

I love farm life! I woke up early this morning daydreaming about 101 different ways to fix chicken that I can threaten the rooster with. I slowly got of bed, stretched at the same time as my big, handsome Pitbull named Biscuit, flung back the curtain to check the naughties out in the field when I spotted something chasing my turkeys through the fog. My very first thought was, ‘why can’t I ever have a normal morning’??!! So I keep looking and its Super Farmer in his nice pants, dress shirt and tie chasing a couple of turkeys with his arms out stretched past the barn and towards the gate that he left open. You would think after all these years living with Dunkay, you would know that you never, ever, never, leave the gate open! I was in a real dilema…I wanted to run and get my camera, but I didn’t want to leave and miss the show! After all, I could see Dunkay galloping from the very back pasture towards that gate. Its like he has gate radar…he could be 10 miles away and his ears will perk up the very second that a human hand is touching that latch! So….in the fog, I have a dressed up husband, a couple of white turkeys blending in the fog, and a donkey racing towards a small opening. The fun part is that chad doesn’t know he’s trying to out run a donkey yet! Oh how I wish my camera wasn’t downstairs! The four of them get to the gate at the same time. Super Farmer is now yelling at the donkey who is clearly ignoring him as the turkeys turn around and go back to the place where chad doesn’t want them! Dunkay got his head through the gate and Super Farmer got his body between the gate and the donkey pushing him back into the field. Human wins!! Except the turkeys are no where to be seen. I take this moment to run downstairs to find my camera in case chad decides to go after the birds again because an agitated donkey is now pacing in front of the gate. Chad stomps into the house because he has to change is pants that is now spotted with wet donkey fur and a few feathers. I cheerliy said, “good morning hon, off to a good start are we”? He glared at me without saying a word and changed his clothes. I swear one of these days we’re going to install cameras all over this farm so I can record this stuff. Until then, I’ll enjoy my coffee on the back porch and watch a couple of turkeys frolicking in the forbidden pasture as Dunkay walks back and forth in front of the gate plotting his next move against Super Farmer.

Does anyone else play ‘juggle the cats’ when you eat? Every night when chad and I sit down to have dinner, usually in front of the T.V., we do our nightly game called ‘juggle the cat’s’. We sit down and the first thing we do is cover our milk with a clean napkin with a book on top to keep out unwanted tongues and dirty paws. We then put our plate full of delicious food that no kitty can resist close to our face. This is when the fun starts. We both have a drooling dog or two sitting as close to us as they possibly can without being pushed away. I have Golden King watching every bite I take, Chad has Misty Blue staring him down. After 2 or 3 bites, both cats get brave and inch closer, paws twitching, whiskers being licked, tails swishing back and forth. Then bam…they both attack at the same time! Golden King now has his paw on my fork and Misty has her face in chads food! This is where the game of juggling comes in. I grab the cat and toss him towards chad, at the same time, he is tossing his annoying cat towards me. Two cats passing each other in the air as three dog heads go back and forth as if watching a tennis match! I now have Misty and Chad has Golden King. I grab her before her mouth wraps around my food and toss her back to Chad as he struggles to get his fork out of Golden Kings mouth. He free’s his fork, grabs the chewing cat, and tosses him back my way. If I’m lucky, I can gobble down a couple if bites before a cat lands at my feet. This is how we eat our dinner. Bite, toss, gobble down, grab fur, toss again, take another fast bite, toss, and so on! Yep, that’s how we farmers eat with our critters!