So…we have one hen who has decided to roost every night on an outside fence, facing the road. It’s like she sits up there and watches life beyond her boundaries go by. She wants to take that leap of faith and experience something new, different…dangerous. Then Super Farmer drives up, gets out and chases her off the fence and back into the barn. Our little black and white hen then huddles with the other chickens, looking over her feathery back. She dreams of watching the cars go by, about the world that she can’t fly into, and answering for herself why a chicken crosses the road.

Well, my Jeep decided that it wanted to see his favorite mechanic…again. I had to call my, ‘walks-slower-than-a-snail’ mother…who drives even slower, if you can believe that, or so I thought, to come get me. I waited, and waited, and waited. When I saw her finally drive up Dave’s Auto shop’s driveway, I thought the car was driving by itself! I couldnt even see the woman! The steering wheel was so high up above the dash board, that she was peeking through it. I thought to myself, “oh my gosh, they actually still let her drive”!? She safely parked after going around and around in circles like a dog does before he lays down. After the dust settled, I made the mistake by getting into the passenger seat. She grinned at me with her ‘I drive like the young woman I’m not’ smile, and hit the gas! We flew down the lane and into traffic without even slowing down! I was petrified! I’m trapped in a vintage cherry red Caddy with a little old women squinting between the steering wheel and dash board as semi trucks zoomed past us! She turned to me and asked where I wanted to go…after all, she was free all day so she would be able to take me to Florida and back if I so desired! I squeaked out that wanted to go to Clear lake. That made her very, very happy, she was taking her daughter to take pics! Granny swerved in and out of traffic like a race car driver, ignoring honks from the other drivers she passed while in their lane. Me, I prayed as my knuckles became white from hanging onto anything inside the car that wasn’t sliding around! After a few Hail Mary’s and mom slamming the breaks to miss a critter or two, we made it to the park alive!! She threw the Caddy in park as it was still rolling, and I got out faster than a speeding bullet! I kissed the ground with tears of gratitude, and took the keys out of her hand, informing my mother that I will never, ever, never, let her drive me around again!!!

Hay man is back with load number two! The animals are racing to the fence to get a glimpse of their hero, their favorite human, the guy they admire!
If I would let them, they would surround hay man and bow, offering him presents, kissing his boots, begging him to take them home with him! After all, his farm is where all the mountains of yummy hay is stored, mounds that stretch into the heavens, alfalfa bales that you can see for miles!
Sorry kids, your stuck with me and Super Farmer, the people that allow you to eat a small pat three times a day, the folks who keep it locked up within eye sight and chase away all animals who dare to even think about jumping the fence so they can eat themselves sick.

Its hay day! Today hay man comes, bringing 120 bales of mouth watering, delicious bales of fresh, green hay for the natives to munch on this winter. Hay day is always fun because as soon as they see the truck coming down the lane with their breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 5 months swaying on the back of the wagon, they get downright giddy! The llamas do a little dance, Laci whinnies loud and long, Dunkay runs around the pasture like a mad man kicking his back hooves up into the air, and Dillon…well he just stands there with his eyes glazed over, drooling. Me…I always say a prayer that it gets here safely. I’m always amazed that it doesn’t fall off with it being piled a 1/2 mile high strapped down with a couple of thin ropes. So around 10:30 this morning, we’re going to have breakfast/lunch/dinner delivered…farm style!

so…I found the hens hiding under a bush today with one of the turkeys sitting next to it, like she was protecting them. I got the bright idea to pray some protection over them. I closed my eyes, stretched out my hand and started to pray out loud. I opened my eyes half way through to make sure they were still there so I wasn’t praying over a bush. I saw that they were staring at me, so I paused for a moment wondering if I should keep going. They looked at each other, cocked their heads, looked back at me and blinked. I thought good, they’re paying attention so I started back up…with my eyes open. After 2.6 seconds, they got up one by one and walked away until it was just me and the turkey. I said “amen”, she nodded her head like she understood, and strutted away. Well, at least one of them appericatied my love and effort.

Super Farmer loves his chickens! He was sitting in his car for a few minutes after getting home, kinda relaxing, watching the chickens peck around the car when a red tail hawk swooped down and tried to grab one of the hens for lunch. Thankfully it missed and slammed into the side of the car. It gathered itself and flew up into our Maple tree in the back yard. The birds ran to me for protection, so I stood over them like a mother hen. Chad got out of the car, grabbed a hatchet laying near by and ran after that hawk yelling and waving that big old hatchet at it. The hawk looked at him funny then flew off into our other big tree with Chad chasing it. Chad got under the tree showed Mr Hawk the hatchet and promised it bodily harm if it ever comes near his chickens again. The hawk shook its feathers and flew to the big pine with Super Farmer chasing it with his weapon of war! I think he chased it to every tree on the farm. Last I saw he was running through the bean field with the hatchet swinging above his head as the hawk flew to its home in the woods behind us. From now on, chippie only goes out to potty with an escort.

I have a song that I sing to the llamas. Its very annoying, but I like it…its what I do. Any who…whenever I see the darlings, I ‘sing’ my song so they know I’m near, or that I’m coming. Most of the time, they will look up at me. Other times, they ignore me and roll their eyes. I wonder what they think when I’m singing to them. I can just hear them whispering to each other saying things like…

“here she comes again making that loud screeching noise”, do you think she’s sick? I wonder why she does that, are we suppose to come to her or run? I think we should run, no wait, doesn’t she give us food after her screeching? That’s right, she does…I think we should walk towards her. You guys go, I don’t trust a human that sounds like that. Gosh, I hope the neighbors don’t hear her!”

Yep, that’s probably what they say to each other!

have you ever wondered what it sounds like to walk past our farm? I feel bad for the many folks who walk their pups, jog or just want to enjoy a nice peaceful walk down a country road. Ha!!

Chad and I were sitting this morning drinking our coffee trying to come up with life solutions, when all three dogs raced out the back door to the front fence, barking like there were bandits trying to break in! Lincoln our alpaca was standing at the fence screaming out his warning! Then the goats started in with a loud, annoying Baaaaaa! I looked out the window to witness three dogs barking as they ran back and forth along the fence line and two goats standing close by, loudly Bleating! I opened the window and yelled for everyone to SHUT UP!!! That’s when I saw an older gentlman trying to walk his pooch past the farm. The poor guy, he was trying to control his own dog from leaping towards the fence as my unruly mutts barked, jumped, growled and knocked each other over while the goats stood there baaaaing and stomping their feet as the alpaca did his ‘war cry’! And of course, there’s me, yelling out the window!! Oh my gosh….how embarrassing! He struggled to get past the farm as the 4 dogs barked at each other. I closed the window, pulled the curtain over it and hid until he was well out of sight! I’m sure he and his dog will take another route from now own!

I noticed the llamas were looking at me strange, which isn’t new, but they seemed to be studying me. So I asked, “excuse me? Is there a problem”? They blinked a couple of times, glanced at each other, and seemed to shrug their shoulders. I put my hands up like, ‘what???’ They went back to eating and I went back to filling up the bird bath. When I was done, I looked up to see that 3 out of the 4 llamas was back to staring at me. I scratched my head, turned around to go back to the house when I figured it out. I was humming. I’m always humming. Ever since I was a little girl, I hummed. I hum when I do house work, I hum when I’m shopping, I hum when the dentist is drilling away, I hum when I feed the animals, read, shower, sleep…I hum! So I went back by the llamas and started to hum. They stopped eating, looked up at me again and stared. Yep, that was it. So…I’m not sure if they like my humming or if it freaks them out. Doesn’t matter, I can’t stop the music that needs to come out of my brain…I gotta hum. Maybe I should call myself the ‘humming llama lady’!

Okay…I’m not kidding. Chad and were negotiating a price with a young lady, when an elderly gentleman came up to us and said, “ummm, excuse me, but your donkey is eating your blinds”. We both looked over to see that he stuck his head through the barn door that we thought was blocked, grabbed some vintage window blinds out of the box, and was standing on one as another was hanging out of his mouth while he chewed away. Chad grabbed the blind, did the famous Dunkay tug of war game as the elderly man was giving chad advice about what angle pull without ripping the cloth blind. By the time chad got the now ruined shade out of the donkeys mouth, there was a small crowd gathered around him watching the show! He gave one good pull and it was free! The folks clapped, Dunkay bowed, the old man shook his head mumbling about how chad should’ve listened to him, and I gave chad a love pat! such fun!!