I woke up way to early this morning and couldn’t fall back to sleep. The sun was just peeking above the trees, so I pulled back my curtain to see if it was worth going outside to take a few pics. As I was gazing out the window doing the, ‘yes-no-yes-no’ argument in my mind, I saw a brown thing run out of the barn as fast as it could to the fence, flap over it and bee lined it to my bedroom window, parked itself 15″ away from the house, looked up, puffed out its chest, stretched out its neck, closed its eyes, and SCREAMED, “cock-a-dooooooodle-doooooooo”! I’m standing at the window looking down at this annoying little bird with my mouth hanging open thinking, ‘I knew it! He does this on purpose!’ I shook my fist at him and made the promise of his worst nightmare coming true…chicken soup! All he saw was his favorite human in the window waving, saying good morning to him. He proudly ruffled his feathers and strutted to the back yard. Me…I sat down on the bed trying to decide if I should plan for chicken soup tonight or tomorrow. The mood to maybe take pics left.

Note to self #1…next time I want to mopp my floors, make sure I put BOTH kittens in another room or outside so they can pounce upon, attack, run after, and claw at anything except for my mop head!

Note to self #2… Unless I WANT a paw print pattern on my floors, put all dogs in another room until all hardwood surfaces are bone dry after mopping house with attacking kittens!

I just gave Chad his too do list for the day. Gosh, I didn’t think was THAT bad! After all, I narrowed it down to…fill up the ducks green turtle sand box, empty the llamas water bin and refill it with fresh, clean spring water, chase the donkey out of the llamas pasture and back into his own, coax Dillon out of his house to make sure he’s eating, throw scratch grain to the chickens, pet the turkey…cause she needs a human touch everyday and I don’t feel like getting my hands dirty, have the chicken soup talk with the rooster…again, give Laci her pill (make sure Dunkay knows it’s medicine and not a treat so he doesn’t try to steal it), chase the kittens back into the house, throw some hay down from the loft, get the dogs out of the chicken coop, collect the eggs before they spoil, chase the donkey out of his area and back with the llamas so Laci can have some peace, and last of all, make sure that farm mama is happy…cause if mama ain’t happy…AIN’T NOBODY HAPPY!

Hoofman came today. Its the only time when all the animals big and small, play hide-in-seek. They know his truck by sight, sound, and smell. As soon as hoofman drove up, they scattered like cockroaches to their favorite hiding places. Laci ran to the large clump of bushes in the far back pasture which doesn’t do her any good because the llamas have eaten off every singles leaf up to 6 feet. Laci is about 3 feet. So she basicaly ran to hide in a bunch of sticks. Well, the mini horse hiding in the bare branches, was the only animal who had an appointment with hoofman. She saw us coming and wedge herslf between two small tree trunks trying to blend in. It didn’t work. We pulled her out and hoofman got to work. Laci decided she would try something new and laid down, trying to hide her feet. That too, did not work out for her. We rolled her onto her side, grabbed a hoof and started trimming. After a few minutes, Dunkay finally figured out that he wasn’t on the trim list so he trotted up to Laci to give her some moral support, or to make fun of her. I kinda felt bad for our little horse. She laid in defeat on her side while hoofman cleaned, trimmed and poked her hooves as Dunkay nibbled on her ear.

Not a good sign. I noticed yesterday when I was helping Don the hoofman trim Laci’s feet, that her winter coat is growing out already. The day before it was 87 and its early Sept! I said to Don, “oh my gosh, she has her winter coat already”! He stood there, hand on his chin, staring at my soon to be 3 foot tall wooly mammonth, and answered, “yup, its going to be an early and tough winter this year with these animals having their winter coats this soon”! I looked over at Dunkay (who had his nose buried in hoofman pocket looking for treats), ran my fingers through the fur on his back and noticed that it too was thick and long. So I ran to Dillon our goat, dragged him out of his house where he was peacefully napping, turned him around like a spinning top, checked his belly, his legs, and his head as he Baaaaaaa’d at me to stop manhandling him. I cupped his furry little face in my hands, looked straight into his yellow, beady slit eyes, and whinned, “oh Dillon, tell me it ain’t so, not your winter coat already”!! He narrowed his eyes, pulled his head put of my clutches, let out a growling baaaaaaaaaaaa, and went back into his house with his tail flipping…just like a cat when their annoyed.

Its going to be an early winter folks. My animals have their winter coats growing out in the first week of September! I’m not ready.

Well, its sale day! About 15 min ago, Kyle showed up at the door with his pillow. He is barely awake so I’m glad he made it here safely. We always have someone baby sitting the animals if we’re going to be gone all day and Kyle is our farm babysitter. He knows the animals and boy do they know him! He will be doing farm chores, letting dogs in and out, in and out. He will be chasing kittens back into the house and prying them out of a dogs mouth every 15 to 20 min. He will be dodging the bee’s that have made a nest on our back porch. He is going to have a fun filled, exciting, adventurous day! Why do I think that? Because when I answered the door this morning to let him in, I saw Dunkay nod to the llamas who came running to the fence. They were all lined up staring at him, nodding to each other…plotting…planning….waiting for his first trip out to the barn! I feel bad because Kyle saw them lined up giving him that ‘look’. He said, “oh mom, look at them, they’re planning something…I know they are! Do I have to stay all day with them”!?! I put my arm around his shoulder as I pushed him inside the house and replied, “now honey, you know they’re just dumb animals, they can’t plot…I’m sure they’ll be good. There won’t be any problems sweetie”! As I said this little white lie, I looked over my shoulder at Dunkay standing there and shook my finger at him, giving him my most stern look. He nodded at me. Then in defiance, he bumped into one of the llamas, who fell into the alpaca, who kicked at another llama, who spit at the donkey which made him mad, so Dunkay bucked at the original llama he pushed, which made them all break out into a fight! I quickly closed the door so Kyle wouldn’t see the mayhem out in the pasture and offered him more money for babysitting.

Well…I was reading the article in the paper when I heard sneezing, wheezing and sputtering next to me. I looked over and one of the kittens had her head buried inside my coffee cup drinking out of my cup of Joe. I grapped my mug as she sat on the table shaking her head. She is now racing through the house and trying to climb up the window screens. What is with this morning? Am I stuck in the funny version if the Twilight Zone??

Let me tell you about my early, early, early, morning adventure. I’m in one of those deep sleeps when I hear the phone ringing. In my fog, I’m yelling at the rooster to be quiet or else. The noise stops and I roll over. Within seconds, the ringing starts up again. This time one eye pops open and I realize its my phone. My fog is now replaced with annoyance mixed with fear. I answer it and its Chad frantically telling me he’s turning around on the highway because he got a call that we have an escaped llama. I have to get up and chase something large down the road until be gets home. Now I’m awake. Have you ever seen a movie where the person is late for an important meeting and they’re jumping around half dressed trying to get a leg in, an arm in as they try to keep their balance while they’re on the phone? That was me. I’m hoping around with one eye open because the other one is still sleeping, on the phone with chad as he yells out instructions about what kind of grain to use, don’t take the Pitbull with you, make sure you close the gate first so the other llamas don’t take a stroll too, and god forbid if the donkey gets out!! If Dunkay gets out we are in big, big, big trouble he yells at me…he then goes down the list of what horrible things Dunkay could do if he was free to terrorize the neighbors! As I’m stumbling around, listening to chad, I’m also looking out the window taking a head count! What I’m really looking for is the donkey who I don’t see, which increases my anxiety by about 200%! Chad says he’ll be home in 15 min or so. 15??!! You know what kind of trouble those animals can get into in 15 minutes?! The whole barn can be in shambles in 4.9 seconds! So…I get out the door with the Pit because he was going with me or else, and I run, not walk, run to the front pasture doing a head count and calling Dunkay. All llamas are in the field eating. The donkey is nowhere in sight. So I run, not walk, run to the back pasture. I find Dillon the old goat and a few chickens. No donkey. So I run, not walk, run to the barn. There he is eating, swishing his tail back and forth in Laci’s face. He perks up because humans mean food. He runs, not walks, runs to me. I hold up my hand and say “stop, I have nothing for you”! He’s a smart boy and turns around to stand in front of Laci again so he can tease her with his swishing tail. I slowly walk back to the gate to find that the turkey who follows me everywhere, is chasing the Pitbull trying to peck him as all 4 llamas stand along the fence wanting to come out with me. I tell them “NO”, I’ve had enough excitement for one day already. I get to the house, I save the dog from our attack turkey and Chad pulls up. Yep, typical man. He gets there after the trouble is over. He jumps out of the car, runs, not walks, runs to the gate and does a head count. I’m mad at this point so I tell him, “gosh I couldn’t see Dunkay anywhere out there”! He panics and runs, not walks, runs to the barn. I snickered to myself and went back inside the house with my shaking Pitbull who was trying to stay away from the turkey…I’m going back to bed! Maybe chad can save the mini horse from the donkeys swishing tail.

PS…thank you to the concerned person who called chad because she thought we had an escapee. If we did, my story might of had a sad ending.

Well, I now have 2 kittens that have joined my daily parade. No matter where I go in the house, I have 3 dogs and 2 cats following me. They are either trotting beside me, in front of me or on my heels. I feel like a circus clown in constant training with animals! It’s comical watching myself go from one room to another. This is my adventure going from the kitchen to the family room today.

I’m in the kitchen…alone…they didn’t follow me because they were napping on the couch, behind the couch and on the floor in front of the couch. My nice couch, now covered in hair. I’ve learned from years of experience, that a dog or cat can hear the refrigerator door open a mile away and come running. So I slowly pull the fridge door open so it doesn’t make a sound. Success! I didn’t hear a thing!! I reach in for my milk, glanced down and there are 3 dogs wagging their tails and 2 cats licking their chops 4 inches away from me. Really? There was NO sound of that door opening! I rolled my eyes and in my ‘I’m the boss’voice, told them to go away, there’s nothing in there for them! They didn’t buy it. The 5 of them sat there, in a row, watching me fix a bowl of cereal. I now have to make my way from the kitchen to my comfy lazyboy chair (also covered in hair) without tripping or letting an unholy word slip through my lips. I hold my bowl high, say a quick prayer and take a step towards them because they are blocking the entrance. They don’t move. As a matter of fact, the tails have stopped wagging and the cats are now in a pounce position. The fight for my cereal is about to begin! I take a step forward, they take two. I hold my bowl above my head, they squint their eyes at me. I say “MOVE”…they do…towards me. I make a bold move by sprinting between Biscuit and Golden King. I catch them off guard and they fall into each other trying to turn around so they can surround me. I’m practicaly running to my covered in cat/dog hair chair, surrounded by animals galloping beside, behind, and in front of me. I made it with only one spill that the littlest cat is lapping up off the wood floor. I flop down in my chair which makes a tiny hair cloud float around my food ( I quickly blow it away before it lands in my cereal)and smirk at the pets with the ‘I rule, you drool’ thought. I would like to say I ate my breakfast in peace, enjoying every bite, but it isn’t so. I had 2 dogs in front of me breathing hard, one dog (chippie) on the chair with me, his nose touching the rim of my bowl, a cat behind me pawing at my food around my shoulder and the other cat jumping on and off my lap trying to get me to spill it. So…I’m not kidding…I’m swatting a cat paw, using my left leg to bounce the other cat off, swinging my bowl around to keep chippies tongue out of it and trying NOT to breathe in hot, smelly dog breath! I put up a good fight! I got to eat about 95% of it. The rest is on the carpet being lapped up by Misty Blue, some of it is on the chair arm being licked clean by Chippie, and the bowl with a few flakes floating around, is now on the floor with the other 3 furry heads inside it growling and hissing at each other.