Someday I’m going to film Chad’s early mornings, trying to get out the door… into the car and out the gate!
I’m sure he loooooooves farm life. I know I do watching him!
The man gets up before dawn to start his hectic work day by zig zagging through furry bodies on the floor next to the bed or worse, gently pulling back covers so that the gremlin sleeping under the llama print sheets doesn’t growl!
He usually showers with a 90lb dog laying on the the bath mat patiently waiting for daddy to step over him, forcing Chad to stand on the cold hard tile.
Chad finally gets ready for another exciting day at work by ignoring the growling lump now under my red puppy dog robe that won’t let him hug me goodbye… so we usually blow kisses at each other!
Now the real fun begins!
The few feet from the front door to his car is always a challenge! He has to make a run for a the car before every feathered creature on the farm sees him or a goat that has learned to jump the fence senses that daddy is outside and may have treats!
Chad slowly opens the door a crack, looks out with me and my growling robe 2 inches behind him… looking… listening… for anything that might be moving under the bushes, up in the trees, behind the porch furniture, on the roof!
The coast is clear! He looks back at me, blows me a kiss or 50, I pat him on the back encouraging him to ‘Run, Forrest, Run’!
He sprints out the door, down the sidewalk, around the Jeep, past the huge Maple hiding a chicken or two, down the driveway with his nice blue suit flapping behind him!!
By gosh the man almost made it today! He was within 8 feet of the safety zone when out of nowhere, like Mr. Deeds (“sneaky, sneaky”), there were 20 chickens, one duck and goat Cocoa Latte, who never misses a trick… all running, waddling and flapping towards him! Chad got to the driver side door, and was fighting to open it when he realized he forgot his keys… again!
He ran back to the house with the flock of misfits following him loudly demanding breakfast! He got in the house, slammed the door… squinted his eyes at me, pointed his finger with a feather stuck to it, and through gritted teeth said, “YOU did this to me! I only wanted a normal life with one dog that didn’t try to bite me everytime I walked in the room! One without animals that don’t chase me outside!”
He went on for about a minute when he noticed he was now very late for work and a goat that snuck in the house stood next to him! So he straightened out his suit, fixed his tie, ran his fingers through his messed up hair, blew me yet another kiss… opened the door to see a donkey mini-pig, 4 chickens and a duck standing on the porch waiting as the other dingbat birds were camped at the driver side door!
Run Forrest, Run!!!
Yep… that about sums up Super Farmer’s mornings!
Me… I just stand at the big picture window every morning, holding my peaceful cup of hot coffee, and watch the show with my bundle of nerves dog, laughing, encouraging my faithful husband to not look back!
Man I love farm life!!! 😁😁😁