I had to go into town for a spell and on the way home, I noticed that not one snow flake was falling in Laporte. BUT….the closer I got to my house off of Waverly Rd, the snow started to lightly fall. By the time I got home, there was an angry snow storm in full swing. I swear there is an evil plan to dump snow over our farm just to make me miserable along with cranky animals!! And just for your info (as if you all didn’t know this already) guess who is standing at the gate in all this snow staring at the house??!! Yep, the mountain goat who was fed before I went into town 3 hours ago! Sheesh, you would think her feet would be frozen!
My farrier, Mike is brave guy! He comes out in the bitter cold to spend time with my horses and Dunkay who run as soon as they see his truck pull up. Mike means trimmed hooves, something all farm animals dread, especially the goats. They know Mike, his truck and his tools. Sierra and Dillon hide behind the barn until all is clear of any signs of ‘The Hoof Man‘..
While Mike was pulling and tugging on Sparky’s back leg he told me a funny story about Miss Piggy, a 300 pound pot belly pig that was raised inside an English woman’s home from the time she was 5 lb piglet to an oversized and spoiled Sow.
Mikes story (with my help)….
Years ago, Mike was called to a small farm just south of Addie Acres to trim the feet of a pot belly pig named Miss Piggy. Mrs. Brackston came from England and spoke in a heavy English accent. Her husband of 40+ years was a drunk so she adopted a tiny pink piglet for companionship, naming her Miss Piggy . Mrs. Brackston raised her little girl inside the house giving her the princess treatment and full run of their humble home nestled in the middle of dense woods . Miss Piggy was potty trained like a dog and would oink at the back door to be let out. Well the farmer who trimmed Miss Piggy’s hooves retired and gave her Mikes phone number. Later that week, Mike and his father ventured out to do what they believed would be an easy foot job! Not to be! Mrs Brackston answered the door in an outdated flowered night jacket, hair in curlers, a cigarette dangling from her bright red lipstick mouth. She greeted them in her heavy accent, forcing both men to turn their heads in her direction trying to understand her words. She escorted them into a dimly lit living room where they found Miss Piggy laying on a brand new tan with blue stripes couch watching TV. As Mike and his dad approached Miss Piggy, she jumped off the couch and ran to the back of the smoke filled house, squealing all the way. All three chased the scared animal into the master bedroom, doing circles around the un-kept bed until they cornered her in the closet. Miss Piggy does not like to have her feet touched and wasn’t about to let two strange men anywhere near her! She barreled through the middle of the human blockage, pushing her frantic mother down onto the wood floor. She ran into the kitchen knocking over a table or two along the way sending magazines and ashtrays flying through the air, pooping and screaming as she went. Mrs Brackston was very upset and tried to coax the now shivering pig that was still relieving herself on the floor to come snuggle into her outstretched arms. Miss Piggy wanted nothing to do with her or anyone else and waddled back to the couch, slipping out of Mikes attempted grasp as she quickly shoved past him. The pig now has her 300lb body on the very top of the couch, still relieving herself in fear! Both men lunged at her and was able to grab onto Miss Piggy as her mother yelled out encouraging words through tears trying to calm the pig. Mike held her down as his dad hurriedly trimmed each foot without making them bleed. The frightened pig yelled so loud that they wrapped a fuzzy wool blanket around her head to help muffle the unbearable squealing! After what seemed like an hour, her feet were finally manicured. The exhausted men collapsed on the couch, staying away from the fresh brown and yellow stains. Miss Piggy ran into the spare bedroom where her bed was kept and buried herself under her teddy bear blanket. Mrs Brackston was pleased at the outcome, praising them for a job well done as she causally mopped up after her baby. She promised that next time, she will give Miss Piggy a full bottle of beer to help her sleep through the next trimming. Mike said it didn’t work. When they came back 6 months later, the drunk pig jumped off the couch weaving it’s way into the master bedroom closet relieving herself along the way. His dad refused to go back with him after that and Mike was forced to struggle with Miss Piggy alone as Mrs Brackston cried out her anguished words of encouragement to a panicking pig for the next 3 or 4 years
They all wait at the door waiting for freedom!
I love it when Chad has a Dunkay experience! It helps to prove to him and everyone else that I don’t make this stuff up!
Chad Addie was walking out of the barn with an arm load of hay to feed the circling goats away from the hording horses. Dunkay spotted him sneaking away with food…so he trotted up to Chad and proceeded to eat the hay out of Chads arms as he walked to the field. Yep, Chad with a boat load of hay and a donkey eating it while he is walking to the back field. Chad tried swinging it back in forth to keep an annoying donkey from chomping it down, yelling out my favorite phrase…”NO-STOP IT”…which Dunkay ignored like he always does! Of course Chads supportive wife was right behind him laughing, yelling out things like…”See? What did I tell you? He does this stuff all the time! Having fun yet?!” . Chad and Dunkay both ignored me, one too busy eating while chasing and the other too busy trying to get away from the biggest nuisance on the farm!!
We should name our big fat horse Laci…HOUDINI! I went out to the barn about an hour ago to do my ‘feed the animals without being trampled dance’! I gave Sparky her pill, then turned to give Laci her medicine and noticed she wasn’t in the barn pigging out like a good horse. Was she in the field enjoying the brown grass?? NO! She got through the fence and was in the front yard next to our 6 foot tall concrete hand, 3 feet from the road munching on the rich green grass that she isn’t suppose to be eating! Cars were slowing down with folks straining to see and pointing to the funny horse eating by a hand! I quickly grabbed her ‘leash’ and calmly walked out the gate pretending I wasn’t interested in ‘catching’ her. I slowly walked up to the naughty horse, gave her the pill mixed with delicious goat grain that no horse can resist and slipped the lead around her fury neck. I let out a huge sigh of relief! She whinnied cause she just figured out that I, the crafty human has just gained control! Woo-hoo…I win again! I do not make this stuff up! Our animals are smarter than the average bear and keep me on my toes!
And now for the rest of the story…. you’d all would be proud of me. After I got Laci back to the barn (she is currently penned up with Sparky), I walked the fence and found where she worked it loose and got out. I’m shocked, this over weight, so called ‘mini horse’ had to get down on her belly and wiggle through the bottom of the fence…Laci the mini ‘TANK’, squeezed through a small spot close to the ground! I tied the bottom of the chain link to a concrete block to hopefully keep her from pushing through again. I did it all by myself! As soon as Chad gets home he will go out-alone-in the dark-alone-to inspect or fix the now out of shape fence!
I went to the barn tonight to feed my starving animals (I could feel their eyes staring at the house in the dark) and I looked over at my kitty condo tree that is about 5 feet tall where I feed my kitties. I put their food up there so the chickens don’t eat it. Of course it doesn’t work, they always find the cat kibbles, the goat grain and all llama munchies…if there’s food anywhere within 10 miles, those chickens will find it! Any who….I looked over at the cat dish to see if it needs filling up from hungry hens and I notice a furry animal with its back to me, head buried deep in the yummy kitty nibbles. My first thought is…what is wrong with that cats fur, it shiny and gray? I don’t remember it being so …’different’. I go over to see the “kitty” and he turns around to glare at me with beady little eyes and a not-so-cute hiss! It’s a possum!! WHAT??!! My boy kitty is sitting up there with him like they are buddies or something! It’s a young possum and he was kinda cute, squinted eyes and all! He just sat there, with my cat looking at me, daring me to chase him away. I loudly say to boy kitty, “come on! This is why I hired you! To keep the riff raff away! Now do your job!!” He yawned! Really? Yawned?? I rolled my eyes and left. Leaving my boy kitty and his new bud sitting on top of the cat condo sharing a nice dinner. Oh brother! @_@
Honestly…after I figured out it was a possum and not a cat, I stood there scratching my head cause our boy kitty was sitting up there with him…after a greeting hiss, mr possum hung his furry head off the side with an open mouth, making his body go limp…like it was dead or something. That’s when I was trying to process it in my brain. Stupid thing just laid there for a few minutes until he figured I wasn’t going to hit him (it was really funny!). He slowly raised himself from the dead and started to eat with my cat. I tried so hard to get a picture!