Category Archives: Farm Life

Life on the farm! Adventerous and down right scary at times!

Life Cereal? Llama Burrs? What do they have in common??

Oh my gosh…the 1970s Life Cereal commercial was just played out in the back pasture!!

Scene… 4 llamas munching away, all of them are filled with burrs. Chad and I standing there, hands rubbing our chins trying to figure out the best way to remove burrs from 200 pound animals.


Me: “we need to try to get those burrs off of them”
Chad: “well, I’m not going to try it”
Me: “I’m not trying it”, as I push Lincoln our Alpaca towards him
Chad: “I said, I’m not trying it”, as he pushes him back towards me
Me: “I know, let’s get kyle to do it! He’s right over there”, as I push Lincoln back towards Chad.
We both turn around and yell at Kyle….”hey Kyle, wanna pick burrs off the llamas”??  He looks at us, glances at the llamas filled with prickly plants, then responds, “sure, I’ll try it”!!

Ps, kyle got 1/2 a burr off of Sammie then quit. He stomped away as he mumbled something about ‘not being our amusement for the day’, as we tried to hide our face while giggling!

Back To Normal? HA!

Now that I’m feeling almost ‘normal’….my animals have decided to be themselves again and show me just how ‘normal’ it is around here. So far…today…. Bouncer chased one of the baby chicks, it ran to the trees where both mama hens were sitting with the other peepers. Both chickens FLEW out of those bushes and went after Bouncer, wings flapping, loudly squawking! Bouncer ran the other way and they FOLLOWED him attacking! Dillon the stupid goat, worked the fence to get himself on the other side where Stormy our boy Llama was and got himself stuck there. He trotted back & forth BAAAAAING trying to get back to where our mountain goat was. I went over, lifted the fence up as far as I could with my back and right leg, to let him come back to his side of the pasture. I looked like a weight lifter! He stood there staring at me, so I took my left arm, went under as far as I could, grabbed his collar, trying to force him under and back over to me! He gets half way under and does his famous stiff front legs out, digging into the grass trick, letting me know that ‘he aint going nowhere’! It looks like me and the goat are playing Twister! Right at that moment, a young mom with her little girl drive up, get out, asking me from afar if I have eggs for sale! Do I look like I can go check?? After threats, grunting and pulling, he gets on his side of the field and runs to Sierra. The black mama hen and her 7 fluffy chicks found their way outside the fence in the farthest back pasture, staring at me trying to get back inside, I can’t get at them, I need Super Farmer to help me, so there they stand, the 8 of them, lined up along the fence, clucking to get back in!!
After about an hours rest, LeAnna, Isaac and I, decided to do some Goodwill shopping. She accidently left the gate open and I just happened to look up to see Lincoln across the street in our neighbors yard, munching away at their bushes. Sammie is in the driveway a few steps from joining him! I yell at LeAnna, “HELP ME”! We run out to where the escapees are, they look up, spot us running toward them which makes them take off galloping down the street! Now, I have a truck coming towards them and a car coming up behind us, both vehicles stopped to let the circus perform. We are running as we zig zag with outstretched arms., I tell her, “herd them back my way’!!. LeAnna isn’t familiar with farm talk, she looks at me funny, so I say,, “bring them back my way”…she then looks at me bewildered! I yell, ‘just help them to come back towards our yard”, she understands and starts to herd those animals. I run in front of the bushes to keep Lincoln from going around them and back into the street. The lady in the stopped car, has her window down. I smile as I say running past her, “never a dull moment”! Her mouth is open and she stares with an amused, yet concerned look at this crazy lady running down the street behind two llamas with her arms frantically waving as another young woman with an ‘oh no’ look, follows in a nice dress and shoes!! Lincoln sprints through the open gate and I tell LeAnna, ‘just wait, Sammie will follow’…he did. We both grab for the gate, slamming it behind both animals that are now running to the back yard as the others join them. Stormy is watching all the excitement which makes him agitated cause the boys are a few feet away from him enjoying some freedom. He screeches out his alarm call as he runs along the fence trying to find a way over it so he can fight!
When I came back home, my chairs were knocked over from the donkey, they forced my bird feeders off their stands, eating ALL the birdseed, pushed over Isaac pup tent which is now laying in a heap, the trash can was on its side again and the goats ate my flowers. Yep, back to “NORMAL”.

Dunkay & the gate

We’ll, Dunkay managed to fit his plumb, furry body through a tiny opening in the back gate and got into the forbidden pasture with Stormy. The tank tried to follow him but is a bit chunkier than he is and didn’t make it. She twisted, snorted and tried to jump. She gave up and backed out while Dunkay stood there watching with a mouthful of grass. Sparky thought she could get through to the yard of plenty and squeezed, whinnied, stomped her hooves and got stuck. I’m standing there watching the performance as my eyes roll with the words, “oh brother” coming out of my mouth over and over. I get on the other side with Dunkay and I push Sparky’s head, forcing her to go backwards, freeing her from the trap (I was tempted to leave her there) as I tell her, “bad horse, very naughty”! Now I turn my attention onto Dunkay. We stare each other down for about 15 seconds, me with squinted eyes, his with amusement cause he knows it will soon be chase time! I step towards him, he steps back. I raise my arms to start my ‘famous crazy farmer lady yell’ and he turns around and trots to the back part of the pasture! The games have begun! I chase, he runs. I yell waving my arms, he throws his head back and ‘Hee Haws’ loudly mixed with laughter. We run back and forth as Stormy stands in the corner watching. The chickens scatter, feathers flying, the mama hen protecting the chicks as we sprint through the middle of the flock that was peacefully pecking away at the grass!! I get mad, he gets happy. He won. I left him there for Super Farmer to deal with when he gets home. Later on around dusk, I hear Dunkay roaring out his amusement as Super Farmer chases him back and forth yelling out words like, ‘Idiot, stop, come on’!!!! I quickly go outside to watch the show and they gave me my money’s worth!!! They ran back and forth for about ten minutes and Dunkay won! Super Farmer gave up. He came back to the house mumbling as he was scraping the poop off of his dress shoes, his tie flapping behind him. He gave me a ‘don’t even say it’ glare, so I didn’t. I silently giggled and gave a thumbs up to Dunkay. I will tempt the donkey out with carrots and threats of living in a cage later on.

Shearing our Stoned llamas

Oh what fun the farm can be! We had the llamas sheared and clipped today! Our Shearer, Felicia, drives over an hour just to spend time with 5 very un-happy large animals that hate the sight and sound of clippers! She is only 25 and braver than chad & I put together! She ran with us to catch Stormy (who we found out is gilded, so no babies) and she gave all of them a shot to make them happy & woozy! We had 4 very stoned llamas’ & an Alpaca! Once the drugs kicked in, they looked at us with peace signs floating in their eyes. I think they thought they were at Woodstock enjoying the rock and roll music of Jimi Hendrix playing in their ears, gazing at the pretty streaks that followed the trees and humans swirling around in rainbow colors as they moved! They let me pet them for the first time around their ears and face and I swear they grinned at me! After the shearing, they all laid down on command and let Felicia clip each toe nail as they snapped at imaginary objects floating by. They were so stoned! After each animal was finished, they carfefully got up on wobbly legs and staggered away like a drunken sailor! Stormy went around in circles chasing who knows what in his drugged up mind! Sweetie and Violet laid on the ground for a few minutes enjoying the fog and the other two boys walked into a corner and got stuck there not being able to back up or turn around because the drug told them they couldn’t function or think or problem solve or anything else that required movement!! Stormy did take advantage of poor Violet who was still laying on the ground that wouldn’t stop moving underneath her, to have some ‘couple time’ and tried to make a baby which he couldn’t seem to figure out how to do. The two other boys wobbled to the fence which made Stormy forget about his date and he got up a little too fast to chase the boys and fell…twice. he finally got on his feet and stumbled to the fence to spit at the boys who were feeling braver ‘under the influence’ and tried to pick a fight! So….I had 3 very high llamas trying to be tough guys as they swayed back and forth trying to nip at each other through the fence which they all thought was made of rubber cause they would run into the fence and bounce off it, again and again! Yes, I do have most of this fun time on film!!

Goats and the Vet!!

Ahhhh, the goats. They are very smart and know Mike the Hoof Man’s truck and they recognize Dr Smith’s oversized, gleaming white 4 x 4. We can have fifty truck’s, cars and vans drive up our long driveway and they will glance up, snort, then keep on eating. BUT…as soon as Mike or Larry drive up, they do their little goat dance and jump, running towards anything that will hide them! When Doc Larry pulled up, they high tailed it to the back of the barn, trying to squirm under a bush. Two full grown goats trying to squeeze themselves under a bush! They laid perfectly still, barely breathing, thinking they had accomplished the perfect get-a-way! Doc decided to tackle them first since the other animals were already galloping themselves into a frenzy at the very sight of him. So we causally walked towards them, pretending we couldn’t see them. Doc on one side, me on the other, getting ready for a grab and pull! Oh but my mountain goat is smarter than she looks! She BAAAAA’D long and loud and pushed herself out from under that low laying bush, practically rolling poor Dillon down the slope that the bush grows atop on! Come to think of it, I believe she did that on purpose! Pushing defenseless Dillon towards the Doctor as a sacrifice, giving her time to find a new spot to hide in! Unfortunately, both goats managed to get away and ran into the barn where we found them crouched behind the chicken coop with only a tail sticking out! So it begins…Doc on one side, me on the other, two shaking goats in the middle. He grabbed Dillon first by the collar and pulled him out giving him two shots as Sierra BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’d longer and louder than I have ever heard her do before! Doc then grabbed her and gave her the first shot which made her jump high into the air trying to twist her body out of his grasp! Doc held on with superman strength and gave her another shot which made her glare at ME standing there. They both ran out of the barn, back to the bush warning the rest of the frightened animals to hide.. The horses and Dunkay spilt up thinking we couldn’t catch them if they were in the four corners of the pasture. This is where Kyle came in to help us make sure that Sparky got her exercise in for the year!!. Sheesh!!

Oh…and later on today, I will tell about the girl Llamas and Stormy in the back pasture and how we chased them….Stormy was a bad boy! Poor Dr Smith…I think every time he pulls up into our driveway, he makes the sign of the Cross and says a desperate prayer…it’s the Addie farm again.

The Vet Pays a Visit!

Great, now ALL the animals are mad at me! The vet came over today and gave everybody their shots. Dr Larry, Kyle and I chased, cornered, tricked, tackled and yelled at running horses, llamas and goats! It took over an hour to get the job done. Sparky ran like the wind and she ran and ran and ran and ran, oh, and did I mention that she ran? She was NOT going to let Doc stick her with anything! Finally after a good 15 minute run and chase…she stopped and stood there in defeat! HA! We win…she got her meds!

Also…when we were trying to corner Sammy & Lincoln (out in the open field) they kept running towards the fence where Stormy was pacing, which made him very upset! Stormy pushed against the fence spitting in our direction yelling out his war cry toward the boys. He then jumped up and tried to get over the fence which made Lincoln nervous since he is usually the target for Stormy’s aggression. So….3 humans, 2 llamas and 1 scared Alpaca running in circles yelling, spitting and a few choice sailor words from the guys! We finally got them cornered and did a free-for-all grab…Lincoln got caught, Sammie slipped through 6 arms and galloped to the farthest part of the pasture that he could possibly get with Kyle running after him. My camera….I needed my camera!! Youth….Kyle chased that Llama in a wide circle (as Stormy spit) back towards The Doc and I who were still hanging onto a squirmy Lincoln. Sammie ran for the gate and got caught by a salty old Vet who has learned all the sneak, grab and hold tricks from the past 40 years! Job done! Ten upset animals and three humans doing high fives along with yells of YIPPEE!!!

I didn’t mention how we corned the goats…..that story is for later!