Okay, honestly now, how many of you wives, girlfriends, significant others, enjoy being a backseat driver? It is a favorite past time of mine! I can’t wait to get in the Jeep when Chad is driving and plan out his course with lots, and lots, and lots of friendly advice on how to, and how NOT to drive!
We get in the Jeep, buckle up! I look at him, smile, wring my hands in anticipation while giving out a sinister giggle. He avoids eye contact and starts to nervously sweat, checking and re-checking his seat belt, all mirrors, turns on the Google map, then prays that he does nothing wrong before we get out of the driveway!
Woo hoo, let the fun begin! No matter which way he turns out of our driveway, it’s the wrong way. If he puts on the brakes waaaaay before the stop sign, I accuse him of driving like the old man that he is! If he applies the brakes just before the stop sign, I gleefully hit his arm scolding him for riding my brakes to hard!
The whole trip is “Not this way! Why did you go down this road? Stop here, oh great, now you’re too far out in the middle of the intersection…back it up! Why are you backing up??!! Your gonna hit someone! There is such a thing called a turn signal you know…so use it! Are you mumbling under your breath at me again? Slow down there’s a rabbit in the middle of the field, he might be thinking about hopping our way! Man, you drive slow! Why are we here? Shouldn’t we be in the other parking lot?! Quick, I see an old man headed for that car in the first parking spot, I’m sure it’s not handicapped! Oh my gosh Chad, why are you following that elderly gentleman? You want us to be thought of as creepers or harrassers of old folks?’ THEN, I take a breath, and c-o-n-t-i-n-u-e!
Yep, thats how WE roll!!