Fun with mother

Yep, it was my M.M. (mother marathon) day. I’ve had mother all day. We went to the doctor and got her all squared away, she’s in good, almost normal health, we went to the store…twice because she lost her debit card at Krogers. I hope and pray we never lose her debit card in a hot parking lot again! I had to look inside the Jeep, around the steamy parking lot in the 100 degree weather, looked under things that stuck to the hot pavement, then my hand because I touched it… pushed carts that refused to move so I could look inside, around, under, and next to.
I had to listen to mother wail for her card, fearing that every criminal in La Porte County was going to take turns buying up items that would surely embrass her, showing up on her statement! And the worse? Going inside asking if anyone turned in mothers card, knowing that they didn’t…forcing me to go back to my frantic mother who was sweeping her cane under all the cars next us, to inform her that the card was gone, we need to go to the bank and cancel it, which meant I would listen to my mother wail louder and longer!
So I took mother to the bank, got her inside without touching anything glass, metal, plastic or wood that could make her sick, sat her in one of the customer service chairs that are now spaced 10 feet apart…which meant I now had to yell across the room to talk to her! Of course she couldn’t hear me and kept asking, “WHAT?!” In between our loud conversations that everyone in the whole building, including the folks in their office with the door closed could hear perfectly, I had to keep getting up to fetch mother kleenex from off the counter. Before we got called back (I think they were doing paper-rock-sissors to see who would wait on us), I got a text from Krogers saying some nice person found mothers card, turning it in without buying unmentionables!
Hooray! I walked the 10 feet to mother to tell her we’re leaving again when she put a huge wad of used kleenex in my hands to throw away for her. I finally got her up off the chair, nodded at the relieved clerks, and got her out the door without touching anything glass, metal, plastic or wood! Off to Krogers again!