I had to do my weekly Mother Marathon Day today. As always, it starts early in the morning. Anything before noon for me is too early and this day started waaaaay before high noon. Our adventurous day was to start at the doctor’s office in Michigan City. Of course, neither one of us had been there before. I was a bit worried about finding it, but mother assured me that she wrote down the directions that the nice lady from the office repeatedly told her over the phone as she wrote. She got out her hand written note, turned it around and around trying to read it. She finally admitted that she can’t read her own writing, but not to worry because she remembers what the receptionist told her 10 times over the phone.
I personally was getting nervous, I’ve been down this road before with mother. So I asked mother what the name of the doctor was. She looked at me funny and asked, “What doctor?”
Oh no…here we go. I said, “You know, the doctor we’re visiting today for your check up!”
She responded, ” I dont need a check up!” I’m now rolling my eyes, gripping the steering wheel tighter, took a deep breath and nicely said to my mother who I love and enjoy being around…”mom, the heart doctor who wants to give you a check up today!” She puts a deep frown on her face, taps her fingers on the cane leaning against her legs, then in a flash, she has a light bulb moment exclaiming, “Oh yes, the nice young man who fixed me up two weeks ago…what’s his name again?”
At this point, I just want to get there and asked her for the address for the umpteenth time which, of course, she doesn’t remember. After a few minutes of bickering back and forth, we figured out the address and, at that very second, i see his office out of the corner of my eye…we had to turn around.
I then got mother in. I sanitize her chair, we watch the nice ladies in colorful masks buzzing around, we talk to the nice young man, we get good news, we leave, i sanitize her cane, door handle and make sure she cleans her hands with my ‘running low’ hand sanitizer in my Jeep.
We are now off to Kroger’s! I make mother wear our new farm mask that Yvonne Addie (Chad’s sister in law) made for us. At first mother was not, no way, going to put on this ‘silly piece of cloth that has a pig on it’ on HER face. I say they’re adorable (they are!), she says ‘a pig, a chicken, my face?’, and so on. Again, we bicker for a few minutes in the parking lot as I point out all the other folks walking by wearing masks and none of them have on a unique, cute, one of a kind mask like ours!
She finally put it on and within 2.8 seconds she complains she can’t breathe with a silly pig thing on her face. “How am suppose to talk?” “What if it falls off?” “It hurts my ears, do I look funny?” “What if someone I know sees me?” “Does this cloth thing do any good? It makes my face too warm! Its creeping up and I can’t see now!”
Oh my gosh…it went on and on and on! You know, this is the Song That Never Ends and goes on and on and on, my friends. I finally got her and the farm mask into Kroger’s, explained the 6 foot rule, sanitized her cart, readjusted her mask, gave her a little push through the door, and went in the opposite direction listening to her muffled voice fade away continuing to complain about not being able to. breathe in this silly…
I caught up with her shortly after getting my groceries and by George she was still going on and on and on, my friends…about the mask that was making her face hot and uncomfortable and…
(story dedicated to Remi 🐷)