Fun with mother

I took mother shopping today. Of course she has to go to Hobby Lobby. She loooooooves Hobby Lobby!! It’s like she’s five years old and she’s in a candy store! She goes up and down every aisle, twice, looking, picking up items, oooohing and aahhing, showing me all the things that would make her little home look cute. Well, after about 3 hours (so it seemed) of following her around listening to her comment on every single thing that caught her eye, I told her I needed to look for something, anything to have some peace and quiet, I zeroed in on some llama throw pillows (that are now on my couch) and left mother in the clock aisle because she needed a new clock (she bought one with a rooster on it). After enjoying my llama pillow shopping, I thought it would be best to find mother and leave the store before they turned out the lights and locked us in.

My mother search has now begun!

The natural thing for me to do, was to start where I left her, in the clock section, after all, there were 560 clocks, ticking in unison. She has to be there! Silly me, of course she wasn’t there. So I started my serious search for mother. Yep, Nancy went up and down aisles, around corners, past pink flamingo displays, and through the flower section. I finally saw mother walking past the other end of the aisle that I was standing at. I thought it best not to yell out, “Yo mama!” So I turned around to go in the same direction she was. I stood there waiting for her to walk past which should have taken approximately 3 seconds. She didn’t appear. I’m thinking to myself, ‘what the heck? I just saw her at the end of the aisle! There is no way she got past me!!’

So I quickly went down the aisle, turned to go in the same direction I saw her going in and what did I find? Nothing! That’s right! It took a little old lady who walks slower than a snail to slip past me in less than 5 seconds! Really Nancy?! I walked in the same direction I saw her going looking down the aisles in both directions again. No mother. I turned around to go in the opposite direction to find my now sneaky mother…nothing. Now I’m getting annoyed. Did the rapture happen and I missed it? Was there an alien invasion and she got snatched? Did she just ‘POOF’ and disappear? Did I really come with her? Am I in bed dreaming?

I was about to pull the fire alarm for help when she comes up behind me, hits me with her cart, on purpose, and happily exclaims that she found the perfect clock and asked me where the heck have I been? She’s ready to go to Meijer’s! She turns on her heel with her rooster clock in her cart and motions me to follow…quickly.