I need a body cam or cameras set up all around the farm!
I had to go out and feed the dingbats, fill water, chase 3 escaped chickens (I only caught one), keep ‘that pig’ from wiping her nose on my pants, avoid Dunkay so he wouldn’t eat my shoes, and make sure BOB and Gobble Gobble had enough to peck at before ‘that pig’ also vacuumed up every single tiny piece of scratch grain. I almost made it without any farm drama when I saw BOB run around the corner of the barn with his wings spread out. (It never ceases to amaze me how fast a plump turkey can run!!)
Well, this old farm gal has been around the barn block a few times and instinct told me that whatever that turkey is after, it’s going to involve me in some way. So I drop the hay and follow the bird. And, yep…drama! Biscuit was in the front pasture (the one in front of super busy 150N). There they were, Bob & Biscuit…tirkey and pitbull mix squaring off (BOB hates Biscuit and goes after him every chance he gets!)
So Nancy sprints over and throws herself between the mighty Pit and the miniature raptor! And do they listen to my loud commands to stop it or else? No! Do they choose to play nice? Heck NO! Do they start their ring around the rosie game using me as their rosie? Yep…they do! I’m in the middle of the front pasture with cars zipping by with a big black fierce looking dog running from a turkey with wings spread, beak opening and closing trying to peck at the dog.
Really?! Round and round they go with me yelling at the not so funny circus act to “stop it”, “Stop It”, “STOP IT”, complete with waving arms, and stomping feet. At this point I am one frustrated farm mama and tell Biscuit to get the heck away from me NOW! Finally, he listens and runs. Does he run to the gate to get out? Noooooooo! He runs to the side pasture which of course makes the turkey flap after him.
Now they’re going around in circles around THE pig! I’m like, ‘oh come on!’ My two sworn enemies are going so fast around that confused pig that they created a dirt cloud. I now have a dust devil in the field with Remi inside it. I gotta run, not walk, to my contuining farm drama and chase the dog through the gate while keeping our mini raptor from doing his best Jurassic Park attack!
By this time, there is a small crowd of neighbors, stopped cars, and cell phones recording the famous, non stop Addie Acres circus act (well, there could have been). I stop, wave toward the road just in case and assure any onlookers that the dog is not going to kill the attacking bird! I could not, however, assure that the reverse would be true.