I was just thinking…what would it be like here on the farm if we had a fainting goat. You know, those critters that fall over with their legs stiff, sticking straight out because some horrible noise scared them…like a kitten’s meow, a bullfrog looking for a mate, a leaf hitting the ground, a squeaky door, or the wind chimes clinking in the wind!
I can just picture it in my over active mind’s eye, and believe it would go something like this…
Chad and I drive for hours to the nearest fainting goat farm, where one picks out the cutest, fastest fainting goat that’s already laying on the ground from a bee buzzing by. We step over brown ones, spotted ones, big…small…full grown…kids!
I “encourage” (ok, force) Chad to pick up a cute little brown and black goat that looks dead from fright but isn’t because it’s still blinking. I’m in love! I must have this adorable laying-on- the-ground, scared stiff, furry critter! Chad carrys our new fur baby to the Jeep because it’s too scared to walk. We drive home talking in whispers because we want young Mr. Goat to come out of his shell and learn that not all noise is bad. By the time we get home, Mr. Goat is practically sitting in daddy’s lap, bonding as they start the new game of ‘pushing the goat away’ which I’m sure Super Farmer will be playing with him everyday!
We get Mr. Goat out of the Jeep and walk him towards the barn to meet his new loving, accepting (yeah right) fur baby family. He walked all the way to the gate without falling over, so far so good. Dunkay is the first to come over, not because he wants to meet his new brother, but because he thinks we have food. Dunkay and Mr. Goat touch noses, eye each other up and down suspiciously, walk in circles like circus ponies giving rides sniffing one another. Then, Dunkay sneezes which makes Mr. Goat faint. I stand there next to the donkey who is smirking as the goat lays on it’s side with Chad pushing him trying to get him back up. After 5 long minutes, Mr. Goat jumps up like nothing ever happened, shakes his body like a dog after a bath (instead of water flying everywhere, it’s dust, feathers, and hay) and trots to the barn where he comes face to face with the “barking” turkey. Yep, that’s right…down he goes…flat on the ground. I looked at Dunkay who I swear was giggling, and warn him to never, ever scare that goat! Mr. Goat recovered faster than the last time, did his dog bath shake making another dust cloud, and walked inside the barn. I hear Lincoln the alpaca scream out his warning cry because he doesn’t know this new animal, followed closely by a loud thud.
Yep, that’s how I see a fainting goat coming to live here. The poor thing would live 99.9% of its life sideways on the ground! 🤣🤣
Oh please God, let me get one!!! Hmmm, maybe we should give him a Screaming Goat as a companion. One bleats out a blood curdling scream and the other flopping in an unending cycle. 😉