Fun with mother

I took my mother shopping yesterday. She had 492 things to pick up and all those items were at different stores…of course.

Our last stop for the day was at Meijers in MC. Since we had been shopping most of the day, she was tired, more slow than usual, and a bit on the cranky side. As always, I lost her. After walking the store 200 times, I told myself that I’m going to get her a cow bell and hang it on her or the cart so I can find her within 5 minutes, not 5 hours. I was about to give up and call security when I heard the main door alarm go off. Most of the time, I don’t pay attention to the alarm blaring through the store, but for some reason this ringing bell perk up my ‘lost mother radar’. I quickly went to the front to make sure my mother wasn’t some how involved in upsetting the whole store! Well…she was. Now don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t stealing anything…she just happened to be standing next to the security alarm with her basket waiting for me to come up. Some body else set off the alarm but my mom thought it was her. She was loudly telling every customer within ear shout, that she was innocent and they were trying to frame her! The nice gentleman who greets everyone was trying to calm her down by reassuring her that nobody thought she was A thief! She wasn’t buying it. She waved her cane at him and demanded her lawyer! I thanked the flustered man and kindly told the crowd that nothing was wrong as I took my mother’s basket with her hanging on it out the door. She was still demanding a lawyer, proclaiming her innocence all the way to the Jeep. I took her home keeping my mouth shut as she went on and on about how she never stoled anything in her entire life expect for when she was around 6yrs old…she took a candy bar that her mother caught her eating in her bedroom. Nana marched her back to the store with the empty wrapper clutched in her tiny hand, chocolate smudged around her mouth, to tell the clerk she was very, very sorry…promising to never steal again…a promise she proudly told me, that she has kept to this day! Therefore, no one was going to accuse HER of stealing!! I just nodded my head and drove faster.