I forgot what it was like to have a tiny kitty cat in the house. Now I remember why I erased all kitten memories!
My life with Bitty Boy.
I get up way too early, cautiously go down the stairs trying not to trip over my excited, ‘gotta go potty NOW’ dogs, and avoid looking out the windows because after all these years, it still freaks me out to see a llama, donkey, or a goat staring at me as I grudgingly fight to get out of my half dreaming sleep walk. I let the ‘scared of kittens’ Pitbull, and growling chihuahua out the back door as Bitty Boy screams out his meow from the bathroom to be let out NOW! I open the powder room door, quickly step to the side so he can shoot out like a bullet. Most days, he slides into Misty Blue who still refuses to accept him. She has been camping in front of the bathroom door doing her ‘I ain’t happy he’s here…he needs to leave NOW’ warnings. As soon as the scary sounds of cats screeching stop, Bitty Boy looks for Biscuit the 95 lb Pit that he can control with a glance, the slight movement of a paw, or a swish of the tail! After the Pit jumps up on the couch like a little old lady who just spotted a mouse to get away from 6 ounces of whispy whiskers, Bitty Boy will proudly walk away knowing that he rules and the dogs drool in fright! He is now looking for dust bunnies, scraps of paper, pen lids, Misty Blues old cat toys…anything he can bat around and pounce upon like the mighty lion that he is in his heart. He then switches gears and concours all the mountains like my lazyboy chair, couches, curtains, tables…anything he can sink his tiny claws into and climb up as I run to him yelling the one word that every cat in the world ignores…”NO”!!
He looks at me with his famous ‘I rule, humans drool’ look and scampers under anything that is less than 2″ tall so I can’t reach him. After I scold him while kneeling on the floor staring at glowing eyes under the couch (as Biscuit trembles in fear behind me), he will sneak out from behind, then wait for me to sit. As soon as I get settled in my chair to do devotions and go through my pics from the day before, Bitty Boy is planning his next move of attack. He starts with chasing poor Biscuit off the lounge chair who was peacefully sleeping next to me, then goes for the pages of my book, the cord on the computer, pawing at the images on the screen, then it’s my hair…fingers…robe tie…loose strings…minion eyes on my slippers…dust floating down…a fly buzzing past…imaginary monsters!! He jumps, circles around, meows, claws, climbs, purrs, attacks! He falls asleep on a dime, wakes up with a start, and he’s off and running again. It’s like having a toddler again! He’s into everything, ignores all commands, gives the phrase ‘terrible twos’ a new meaning, then in 1.3 seconds, he’s acting all sweet and innocent again, looking up at me with those adorable kitten eyes! I pick up my now purring baby, kiss his soft furry head, forgetting that my book now has permenant cat teeth imprints or holes, my robe is unraveling in 50 different new spots, the dog is shaking in fear under the covers, my slipper is missing an eye, my computer cord needs to be replaced, and my chair now looks like a shaggy dog that needs a new home.
And that’s just in one hour!! I still have all day with this ball of non stop fur!