I wrote this the night baby Blessing died.

Chad Addie a faithful man, picked up baby Blessings limp body and carried her out the barn door. Mama Violet, came up and sniffed the tiny body.  Chad stood there cradling our little Blessing, letting the mama grieve for a few minutes.  He then proceeded to carry her through the red metal gate to bury her fragile little body between two trees surrounded by the white and pink clover flowers she liked to sit in. The wind picked up and it started to rain.  Chad just kept walking with our baby.  I turned around to go back inside.  I can see him from my bedroom window, digging in the rain, the mama llama standing at the gate watching. My faithful husband will not stop until Blessing is buried no matter how hard it rains or how much the wind blows across the pasture. His little Blessing, will be laid to rest.

I know Chad, a part of his heart along with mine, will also lay beside her lifeless body. These are the times when I don’t like being a ‘farmer’…we get attached to our animals, we give them our love and affection, even when they are being a pain (Dunkay). So when they die, so does a piece of our heart. After a good 30 min, I saw Chad slowly walk back to the gate. Mama was still standing in the rain,  she never moved. Chad put his arm around Violet and they put their heads together. She doesn’t like to be touched but yet, she let him hold her, it was like she understood, she was thanking him for taking such good care of her first born. After a couple of moments of farmer and llama grieving together in the downpour, Chad walked back to the house, head hung low. I was still watching them from the window, my tears still falling.  Chad walked into the house, took off his muddy boots and sat in the living room…no lights, no TV. Just him and his thoughts. I left him alone.

I thank God for our Blessing and the joy she brought us, even though it was for 7 short days.